Tonight I think I finally understood the true meaning of a word that I was always afraid of. To me the word always meant ( in my head ) Humiliation. Through many different avenues I have always escaped it by being ignorant of the definition and or too much pride, I suppose. In a short time I have found through the group and some unsuspected new friends the foundation I believe, to be more open and accepting of things that have always been unclear or unfamiliar and things that I have no control over besides how I feel or think and my own actions and live with it the best that I can. To finally come to terms that although I may think Im the greatest at whatever I do that I am not, and in fact only a representative of myself and I best be true to me before I can be anything to anyone else. I was challenged the other day by my sponsor to read on my own time a chapter out of the book. I did this as soon as I got home and within a few paragraphs I knew exactly what he was getting at. In a nutshell, if I allow myself to sit back and never share, never allow myself or my story to be told or express whats inside the only thing that will happen is that I will revert back to the old way and never honestly take the first step to self help. Without it I can never move forward, I only stay in a neutral place that is open to anything that decides to move in and pray upon my defenseless being. Only when I step up and do what no one else can or will do for me will I begin to heal and trust again. Though I may be rambling, this is the conclusion that I have come up with and in my own mind I think I have a better grasp of things. I did break the barrier tonight, I kicked down the wall and with my sponsor coming all the way from Winston to be there for me and see that I know that I have no reason to doubt any of this I feel like I can stand up and be strong. I feel like I can make a change and do whats right for me. .........................................Humility (adjectival form: humble) is variously seen as the act or posture of lowering oneself in relation to others, or conversely, having a clear perspective and respect for ones place in context. In a religious context this can mean a recognition of self in relation to a deity or deities, acceptance of ones defects, and submission to divine grace or as a member of an organized, hierarchical religion. Absent a religious context humility can still take on a moral and/or ethical dimension. Humility, in various interpretations, is widely seen as a virtue in many religious and philosophical traditions, often in contrast to narcissism, hubris and other forms of pride.
Posted on: Wed, 24 Dec 2014 01:31:00 +0000
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