Top 10 Ailments In My Lifetime: 1: Depression - stubborn little so n so, this one 2: Kidney Stone 2 - anything where they have to go up to retrieve is never going to be nice 3: Kidney Stone 1 - I thought this was the daddy until number 2 came along 4: Glandular Fever - the doctor told me to avoid crowds and excitement; all football fans can fill in the rest 5: Gastroenteritis - got this on my birthday once; the only birthday where in the end I didnt see a single living human being - well, I was living in Walthamstow 6: Hiatus hernia with reflux - Ive got this now; its the lax cardio-oesophageal junction which is sending me scrambling to Google 7: Plantar fasciitis - youd think thered be a herbal remedy for something with plantar in it; but no, I had to walk up and down planks and stand on frozen bottles of water - turns out my right leg is shorter than my left, which explains a lot 8: Sprained metatarsal - they put me on rhino strength painkillers for this one 9: Broken nose - somebody sat on me after a collision playing football on the school playing field during lunch; I had been in goal, but opted to play on in an outfield position (I know - defies logic) using my school tie to mop up blood as I patrolled the wing - take note: when Stuart Broad broke his nose in the Test the other week he was helped off the pitch and went to hospital, the pussy. 10: Migraine - curtains drawn, lights out, good night!
Posted on: Thu, 28 Aug 2014 11:58:15 +0000
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