Two definitions of gossip: Dictionary – Casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details that are not confirmed as being true. Bible – One who reveals secrets, one who goes about as a talebearer or scandal-monger. Gossip is different from sharing information in many ways. Below are some ways I feel the two differ but I’m sure there are many others. Consider your motives for sharing? Are you seeking to build yourself up by making others look bad? We often feel superior to the person we are talking about which is prideful and often gossip. Gossiping wants to share and tell a story for reactions. It is done repeatedly to many persons. If you are hurt or angry with someone and desire to draw others into your pain wanting them to side with you it’s likely you are gossiping. What type of information is being shared? Gossipers speak of the faults and failures of others or reveal possibly embarrassing or shameful details regarding the lives of others without their knowledge or approval. Gossip usually occurs when you complain or talk about one person to someone who knows both of you. Ask if what you are saying is helpful for building up the person I am speaking about by sharing this? Charles Spurgeon said, “Tale bearing/gossip emits a threefold poison. It injures the teller, the hearer, and the person concerning whom the tale is told.” Ask yourself why you want to share this information, do you have permission, and if it’s necessary? Then consider whether you would share if the person you were talking about were present? If not, you are most likely gossiping. It’s gossip to say anything about someone that will lower the listener’s opinion of that someone as gossip changes the way we see people. Do you have a complaint about someone that you take to someone else who can do nothing about it? If so, then that is gossip. Do your words build up and edify others? Gossipers seek to tear down others. Kind words see the best in people and call it forth. Gossipers tend to focus on the negative and nit pick. When someone is talking negatively about others it become gossip on your part if you jump into the conversation. Don’t participate. Excuse yourself from a conversation that becomes full of gossip, to avoid “falling into” gossip games or socializing-by-demoralizing. Encourage them to speak directly to the person who is involved as it’s biblical, see Matthew 18:15 Let gossip end with you. Help navigate the conversation to whatever is true, pure, and lovely. Always remember your words are powerful enough to give life or death. Will what you share glorify God? T –is it true? H –is it helpful? I –is it inspiring? N –is it necessary? K –is it kind? In closing, I encourage you to ponder the following poem by Ann Landers. Personally, this poem really made me think deeper about a few things. Remember Me? “My Name Is Gossip. I have no respect for Justice. I maim without killing. I break hearts and ruin lives. I am cunning and malicious and gather strength with age. The more I am quoted the more I am believed. I flourish at every level of society. My victims are helpless. They cannot protect themselves against me because I have no name and no face. To track me down is impossible. The harder you try, the more elusive I become. I am nobody’s friend. Once I tarnish a reputation, it is never quite the same. I topple governments and ruin marriages. I ruin careers and cause sleepless nights, heartache and indigestion. I spawn suspicion and generate grief. I make innocent people cry in their pillows. Even my name hisses. “I AM CALLED GOSSIP.” Office gossip. Shop gossip. Party gossip. I make headline and headaches. Before you repeat a story ask yourself. Is it true? Is it fair? Is it necessary? If not – KEEP QUIET. GREAT minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; shallow minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt Think Before You Speak January 28, 2014 by Cherie Werner - See more at: itakejoy.
Posted on: Tue, 28 Jan 2014 13:26:44 +0000
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