Two incidents that happened this week which moved me deeply: Yesterday, when my son came back from school, he told me that R (a boy in his class) was going to be send out of school. I asked him what happened and he explained how a Sister and their class teacher was scolding him in front of the whole class and telling him that this would be the last warning. Im not sure what exactly happened as he himself was not sure. I asked him whether the boy cried, he said that the boy was crying without any sound, just tears streaming down his face. Oh! how it broke my heart. Now, Im sure he did not have gone out and killed somebody, he must have been acting his age, that is 7 years. How are his parents going to react when they are told of their sons actions. I assume they are going to take out all the anger, frustration, fear, shame and other emotions on that poor boy, which is definitely going to make matters worse. Now wait for the next incident if some of you think Im exaggerating or overreacting. My maid didnt come for work the past two days and today when she came I asked her why she was absent. She said she had gone to her in-laws place. She doesnt stay with them as her husband had threatened to kill her because she didnt give him a son, but a daughter, who is now 10 years old. The mother-in-law wanted to see the daughter, thats why they had gone there. Usually when they go, her husband wont be around, so they just go, see the grandma and come back. But this time, her husband was around and he started threatening her to go away otherwise he would kill her and her daughter. Then he started beating the child. The mother-in-law seeing this, tried to prevent it by going in between them. Then the man started beating his own mother telling her its her who called them. Then her other son intervened and saved his mother. I told my maid not to go there anymore even if someone calls her. I dont know what else to do. After this, I looked at my own son and I saw a very small human being, dependent on us, his parents, for fulfilling all his needs, physical, emotional and intellectual. Who is to blame if he grows up to be a cold, cruel, heartless person who wont think twice before hurting someone! I dont believe anymore that cruelty is just hurting someone physically, its also cruelty when your little one looks up to you for comfort, safety, encouragement, love, happiness and all the other things a human being needs to thrive, and you shame, ignore, ridicule, punish or neglect them. For majority of my life, I believed that we will always get back what we have given others, be it good or bad. Now Im also convinced that most of the time we can give others only what we have received. This is a cycle, and it needs immense patience, understanding, courage and determination to break it. So from today onwards, Im hoping to show a little more patience when my sons act their respective ages, a little more love and support when they are frustrated with life and all its accompanying disappointments, a little more courage to love them even when others say they should be punished, a little more determination that I wouldnt purposefully give them bad experiences (masked as, oh! they need these to become tough!!!!) which only serve to chip away their self worth and confidence!
Posted on: Fri, 12 Dec 2014 07:11:15 +0000