Two years ago this week, I was sick and stuck in a hotel room in NYC. Two years ago this week, the break-up of all break-ups in my life, happened. It is what catalyzed the falling and crashing away of some serious karmic veils from my SEEING, my HEARING; veils made of ancient concrete that were in my way of a deeper Understanding of myself -- of The reality. I allowed myself to prance down memory lane last night. Revisiting videos, pictures songs and that feeling of heartbreak helped me to take stock of just how far Ive come. It is true that it takes years to get over a deep love affair. And the one I had with Brian was indeed --- the deepest Ive ever had. I loved him in a way I never knew I could love a man. I lost my grandfather the year before and then lost my grandmother the year after. My life was forever changed. I hated him for a while. But, honestly --- today I am grateful that I no longer harbor those feelings. Instead I am left with the beautiful memories of our passion, our growing together, how we laughed (and oh how we laughed), how we danced, kissed, made love, snuggled, cried ... fought. Im left with the nostalgia of Haiti, her palm trees, her oceans, her people and the friends I made there. Ill never forget the long, windy and very bumpy roads all the way to Port-au-Prince. The dirty markets, the goats, the chickens and riding with him on a backhoe through the narrow and rubbled streets of Jeremie, Haiti. People walking by carrying fruit and water on their heads would look on in amazement while I held on for my dear life as this crazy blanc (crazy white man), with a cigarette dangling out of his mouth, fearlessly focused on not hitting anything or anyone as he plowed through with determination. Haiti became the bubble in which we could both truly be our authentic Selves. In Haiti, there are no other distractions. All we had was each other. And for a while, it was paradise. Imagine having an Indiana Jones experience with someone you love. So... Heres to forgiveness and letting go of resentment. Ill leave behind the things of that time that took from me and this time..just let the love remain. 2015. Year of the risen Phoenix.
Posted on: Tue, 13 Jan 2015 21:22:54 +0000
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