UPDATE!!! Today, I went for a traipse through the woods with my loyal puppy, Mia. During this adventure, I decided to throw caution to the wind and scientifically prove my theory. I procured myself a nice stick approximately 4 feet long. After cautiously proceeding a few yards, my confidence began to increase. The voice of my mother and her eye poking dissertation began to fade. So much that I climbed up and over a fallen tree that sat at least 5 feet off the ground. I sit here with two good eyes and an intact cervical process with a sense of pride and disbelief. I now know sticks and high places are not quite the danger we were led to believe. So I explore you my middle aged brothers and sisters, RISE UP!!!! Grab those sticks, climb that wall!!! Break free of the bonds of the oppressor (no offense mom)!!!! Tell your children that their eyes and necks are safe. Lovingly tell them to be free to be children. Sticks and stones may break your bones but not poke out your eyes. You may fall off that roof and rupture your spleen, but have no fear little buddy, your neck is safe. Disclaimer: the author of this rant claims no responsibility for any and all injuries from heeding this advice. Results may vary. Allow 4 - 8 weeks for delivery. Offer not valid in New York, Hawaii, or Virginia.
Posted on: Wed, 20 Nov 2013 00:59:14 +0000
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