Upon seeing a poster for a new movie starring Jonah Hill, my best friend and I realized something quite important. Jonah Hill is really obnoxious, but when you smoke enough weed, he becomes hilarious. Therefore, a new system of rating was born. We now rate a movie based on how high you have to get for something to be worthwhile - how many Jonah Hills it is worth. The less, the better. Of course, having a system of rating in the negative is complicated. Thus, the entire Galifianakis rating system was born. Lets take a movie like Half Baked, which has none of the below-mentioned people. Half Baked has some really funny parts, and some really boring parts, and a couple of mind-blowing parts. I would rate Half Baked at about 3 Seth Rogens. You see, 10 Jonah Hills, equals 1 Seth Rogen. Seth Rogen is rather funny all on his own, but still mildly obnoxious. So while it only takes one bowl to find Seth funny, it would take 10 to find Jonah funny. Now, a movie like Dogma, on the other hand, (or any Kevin Smith movies in the opinion of this writer) doesnt require any weed, but rather weed enhances it. Dogma would recieve a rating of 4 Zach Galifianakises. Now, its 10 Jonah Hills to a Seth Rogen, remember? Well, its 5 Seth Rogens to a Zach Galifianakis. So if I rate Dogma at 4 Zach Galifianakises, thats 20 Seth Rogens, and 200 Jonah Hills. Simple, right? The best part? Its completely adjustable to everyones individual tastes. While I would rate Dogma 4 Zachs, someone else might only rate it at 4 Seth Rogens. Is your mind blown yet? probably not. but we thought it was hilarious. go forth, dear readers, and rate away!
Posted on: Tue, 29 Jul 2014 04:35:59 +0000