Very interesting findings.... So here’s a roundup of the mistakes you should absolutely avoid so you can prevent problems in your marriage further down the line... Ignoring Signs The Person Isn’t Right For You – at some point during your communication, you might sense a feeling that ‘something is not quite right’. Don’t ignore these feelings! Ask yourself ‘Why’ you are feeling this way and raise your concerns with the person in question, as well as speaking to your wali. Ignoring Key Islamic Principles – if you are looking for someone practicing, avoid people who say things like ‘I don’t pray 5 times a day, but intend on starting as soon as I’m married’...or saying things like ‘that’s the reason why I want to marry someone practicing, so I can become more like you’ etc...Yes, flattery is great but in reality if someone is sincere in wanting to change, they will do this BEFORE marriage, not after! Ignoring Bad Habits –Know that Allah SWT is ever watchful over what you do. If the person you’re considering for marriage smokes, drinks, doesn’t wear hijaab etc, then the worst mistake you can make is accepting them for what they are in the hope they will change. They rarely do. And know that there is no blessings in a marriage where you wilfully marry someone who is doing something haram. Not Doing Your Istikhara – The Prophet (SAW) ordered us to make istikhara for every major decision in our life. Not consulting with Allah SWT means you are leaving out the One who decides what is good for you! If a person is good for you, then Allah SWT makes it easy for you, and if that person is bad for you, then Allah SWT makes it difficult for you. Ignore this at your peril! Not Asking The Right Questions – mutual compatibility can only happen when you talk openly about the things that are important to you. Time and again we have seen brothers and sisters gloss over important details in the worry they may ‘lose’ the person in question! Subhan’Allah, why start a marriage like this? Start as you mean to go on and ask the right questions NOW so it doesn’t cause problems later! Not Getting Your Wali Involved – the general consensus amongst the scholars is that there is no marriage without the presence of a wali – so make sure you have yours involved at EVERY stage of the process – from your early communications to the final decision.
Posted on: Thu, 21 Nov 2013 01:51:18 +0000