WHY MEN ARE SELDOM DEPRESSED > > > Men Are Just Happier People -- What do you expect from such simple creatures? > Your last name stays put. > The garage is all yours. > Wedding plans take care of themselves. > Chocolate is just another snack. > You can never be pregnant. > You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. > You can wear NO shirt to a water park. > Car mechanics tell you the truth. > The world is your urinal. > You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. > You dont have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. > Same work, more pay. > Wrinkles add character. > Wedding dress $5000...Tux rental-$100. > People never stare at your chest when youre talking to them. > New shoes dont cut, blister, or mangle your feet. > One mood all the time. > Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. > You know stuff about tanks. > A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. > You can open all your own jars. > You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. > If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. > Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. > Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. > You almost never have strap problems in public. > You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. > Everything on your face stays its original color. > The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. > You only have to shave your face and neck. > You can play with toys all your life. > One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. > You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can do your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives On December 24 in 25 minutes. > > NICKNAMES > • If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. > • If Mike, Dave and Chuck go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman. > > EATING OUT > • When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and Chuck will each throw in $20, even though its only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. > • When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.. > > MONEY > • A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. > • A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesnt need but its on sale. > > BATHROOMS > • A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel. > • The average number of items in the typical womans bathroom is 337. > A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items. > > ARGUMENTS > • A woman has the last word in any argument. > • Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. > > FUTURE > • A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. > • A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. > > MARRIAGE > • A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesnt. > • A man marries a woman expecting that she wont change, but she does. > DRESSING UP > • A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. > • A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. > > NATURAL > • Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. > • Women somehow deteriorate during the night. > > OFFSPRING > • Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams > • A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY > A married man should forget his mistakes. Theres no use in two people remembering the same thing!
Posted on: Mon, 21 Apr 2014 23:23:45 +0000
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