We WANT to laugh. We ache to be light. I swear, we want to pick ourselves empty of all the rot. The lovely world is patiently waiting to rush into all our spaces, to remind us of who we are. It will wait as long as it takes us. This is how I experienced it: I WAS BEING LOVED. Though i did not understand it, I knew not to be frightened. The one I felt loved by came to feel like it was my deepest self...the experience of SELF was enlarging. I would watch all this, as if from a great distance. Who WAS that woman in my skin? It all made me tired. I needed to sleep alot then. But oh, sleep was sweet. I knew as I slept I was swimming in such joy. After a time it got easier to incorporate the strange new everything into my familiar life. I came, in a comforting way, to take for granted what I knew would never leave me. I didnt have to clutch at it. This experience of being reordered has been described as death of a kind. It is the only real death. But no wonder its feared. The end of all you thought was real, all you thought was you. We cling dearly to it, as if letting it go would mean wed cease to be. If you had told me, before, that if i let go of fear and desire there would still be something left of me, id not have believed you. It turns out that where there is no desire, delight is free to flood in through all the blown-out windows, all the missing doors.....things are richer by far than they were.... ~ Jan Frazier When Fear Falls Away
Posted on: Tue, 01 Apr 2014 11:32:00 +0000