We all have our problems, many people struggle the way that Mr. Williams did. I too have suffered intense Anxiety and Depression as result of severe trauma, PTSD. At my worst, when my marriage fell apart, I had suicide compulsion/ideation fire off in my brain over 100 times a day, a symptom of PTSD. This made me sad and scared. Feeling ashamed and out of control, I sought help. I worked really hard to get those horrific thoughts out of my head. I went twice a week for almost two years to intense therapy and though I feel I am out of immediate danger I still use the tools that DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) taught me every day. Before I sought help, uneducated about my illness and so very lost, it seemed hopeless and so lonely. I am sad that Mr. Williams died, I looked up to him and related to him on a number of levels. I am sad that he found hope in dying and not living. It reminds me how precious life is and is bringing back a flood of emotions. There is still so much stigma surrounding mental illness. The shame that is carried around on top of feeling downright lousy is a dangerous combination. This is why I chose to share a small part of my own struggle.... I am so over being afraid people are going to find out I am legitimately crazy. Everyday isnt perfect, but when I wake up on this side of the dirt....I do my best to find some hope in life.
Posted on: Thu, 14 Aug 2014 00:37:56 +0000
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