We teach others how to treat us. When we allow others to say things to us or to do things to us that are hurtful, were essentially giving them permission to keep doing it--were telling them its okay, even when its not. It is up to us to respect ourselves enough to stand up, speak our truths, and demand to be treated with love and respect. Last night, I did one of the hardest things Ive ever done. I sat down and wrote a letter to my oldest niece, a child (now a grown woman) whom I love dearly, speaking my truth. I told her compassionately, in very clear terms, that her recent actions and behavior toward me were unacceptable. I would not put up with what transpired between us from anyone else in my life, and I wont accept it from her or any other member of my family, either. I spoke my truth with compassion and forgiveness, and I hope she learns some important life lessons from what I said. I attached several of my favorite pictures of us from her childhood, because thats how I will remember our relationship. I choose, as always, to focus on the love. I recognize that speaking my truth and addressing uncomfortable moments and breathtakingly painful comments instead of ignoring them most likely effectively ends any semblance of a relationship I have with her, her new husband, and the two young teenagers who now call her, Mom. It is most likely that Ill lose her brother too, another child (now a grown man) I have always loved. That hurts my heart. But my heart was already hurting from their judgments and speaking my truth sets me free. I choose how I will be treated. I say what is acceptable. I choose love for myself. I choose self-respect. And I require the same from others, regardless who they are to me, or they do not get to have a place in my life. I have no idea if, or how, my niece will respond. In the end, I didnt write the letter to get a response. I wrote the letter as a gift to myself--the gift of self-respect, the gift of self-love, the gift of surrounding myself only with love and light, and those who love me exactly as I am. I hope all of you are having a beautiful weekend, surrounded by those who love and respect you exactly as you are. Im sending you all so much love, from my heart to yours.
Posted on: Sat, 06 Dec 2014 15:57:53 +0000
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