Welcome to the Mad House At my House! By Zoe Sandell • At my house clothes are optional. It is ok to take them off as soon as you enter and continue your activates without them, this includes jumping on the trampoline in the back garden. • At my house it is BYO toilet paper. Toilet paper can be eaten (flushable wipes can be provided, but only upon request). • At my house you need a key to get into the food cupboard and the fridge; this can be really useful when dieting, but a big problem if the key gets locked inside! • At my house the TV can only be turned on after 9:30pm, when one can be sure Brodie has gone off to sleep, unless it is Thomas the tank engine or Bob the builder and I can recite these to you if you like! • At my house there are two boys with communication difficulties and one of them is non-verbal, so you had better enjoy talking to yourself! • At my house the lights have to be on, day and night, so stock up on those energy saving light bulbs. • At my house there are no glass shower screens, say goodbye to privacy at the door. • At my house we are prone to flash floods, these can generate from the bathroom or laundry, non slip shoes and a towel are essential. • At my house the menu is limited, although each night individual meals are prepared for each occupant and special dietary needs are catered for. • At my house bed time is often 12:00am and the day can begin as early as 5:00am and it is always best to sleep with your ears open, just in case. • At my house rules are written out and posted on the wall, all occupants must abide by the rules (poo’s and wee’s go in the toilet, you would think would be easy enough to follow) or deal with the consequences (no computer for the rest of the day, how will I survive?) • At my house it is always a good idea to lock your room when you leave, especially if your room has carpet. (these locks can be easily opened with a spoon handle available from the top draw in the kitchen) • At my house the floors require sweeping and mopping on a daily basis, am always looking for volunteers! • At my house you chose one cup and one bowl and they are the only ones you can use, if they get lost or go missing, you are required to throw yourself on the floor and scream and bang your head. • At my house vitamin/mineral supplements, fish oil, cod liver oil, green tea, digestive enzymes and barley grass are served 2-3 times daily, these leave a lovely smell in the air! Not to mention the taste! • At my house there are no chemical cleaners, just good old elbow grease (still looking for volunteers). • At my house all toothpaste and other toiletries are hidden, items can be accessed by request only as the hiding spot is constantly on the move. • At my house if you lose in a game you are required to throw the game and scream and storm off yelling. • At my house computers and playstations cheat, and are designed to not let you win. • At my house you are often required to be in two places at once, this is where a clone or a MUM comes in handy. • At my house when shutting the door it is required that you slam it as hard as possible to hear it bang. • At my house when you are feeling angry you are required to hit the person who will give you the best reaction (your brother is normally good for this). • At my house there is a sign out the front, “Welcome to the mad house, enter at own risk! Please leave your sanity at the door and you can collect it as you leave!”
Posted on: Wed, 06 Aug 2014 06:16:25 +0000
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