Well, its probably about time for my annual Christmas rant. Most of you probably know that Im not a fan of Christmas. I certainly dont begrudge anyone being happy over the holidays, Im just not one of those people. I get that when people say Merry Christmas Im supposed to say Merry Christmas back. But I usually dont, because it makes me feel like a huge hypocrite. First off, Im not even remotely Christian. Im not even a good Pagan, so references to Yule and Saturnalia are right out. Happy Holidays would seem to be a good end-run around the subject, but its got that holy hiding in plain sight. Being mindful of cultural appropriation, Hanukkah and Kwanzaa are off limits. These days I usually default to Happy December 25th! or occasionally Happy Boxing Day! (though I am also wary of appropriating what little culture Canada has.) I get that for many of my friends, Christmas is a secular holiday. When those people wish me Merry Christmas they are not making any sort of religious statement. I just cant wrap my head around it personally. When you say Merry Christmas my brain translates it as This holiday makes me happy, and Im wishing you happiness as well. Its a noble sentiment, but why this one day? Why not other days throughout the year as well? The reasons for all this Christmas loathing are complicated. It mostly revolves around the twin demons of Guilt and Obligation. If my emotional life was the WWE, Guilt and Obligation would be the tag-team champions. For a while I even referred to the holidays as the Festival of Guilt and Obligation. I have a strong feeling that many of my Christmas-averse compatriots experience the same thing. That goes a long way towards explaining the nervous laughter and panic I experience when people verbally offer some sort of holiday greetings. This year I decided to give myself a present: Im taking the year off. No gift exchange, no holiday observations, no seasonal snack making. Unsurprisingly, my mood has lifted considerably. Im getting off pretty easy. I did attend a work-related holiday party last night, and had a good time. I didnt participate in White Elephant, a game I usually enjoy, so as to not be a hypocrite when it comes to gift exchange. I did receive an ugly Christmas shirt, and will probably wear it tomorrow. Im also a big fan of the good work being done by the Satanic Temple in cities across America. I feel very fortunate that I dont have a family (see above: Guilt and Obligation.) I also feel very fortunate that I have so many awesome friends. If anything makes me happy about the season, its that it makes so many of you so damn happy. And there are actually some Christmas songs I like. I cant get with the Pogues Fairytale of New York anymore; when I worked in a bar I must have heard that song about a million times all throughout the year. Ones I like include: Father Christmas by the Kinks (Father Christmas, give us some money...well beat you up if you dont hand it over,) Christmas in Hollis by Run DMC, and Frosty the Snowman by the Cocteau Twins (the name of the song isnt too far off from the nonsense names of other Cocteau Twins songs.) But my favorite is probably Hanoi Rocks Dead by XMas. In the spirit of giving, heres the jam. Be nice to other folks who dont have the Christmas spirit. We dont hate you, and we dont want to ruin your fun. We mostly just want to be left alone. Have an excellent December 25th!
Posted on: Mon, 22 Dec 2014 20:55:47 +0000
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