Well-meaning folks can at times say things that may be hurtful to adoptive families. Here are a few things to be mindful of when talking with adoptive families and their children. What hurts children who have been adopted? - Comments such as Do you think youll try to find your real mom? or Do you know your real parents? Adoptive parents are the real parents in every sense of the word. Biology isnt everything. - Saying You must be so grateful they adopted you. Remember, for most of these kids, what they tend to remember is that they were removed from the only family theyve ever known. It doesnt always seem like a good thing, especially at first. - Always refrain from saying unkind things about the biological family. What hurts adoptive families? - Adoptive families absolutely know and feel their children are their own children—comments to the contrary are very hurtful. - Treat all children the same regardless of whether they came through birth or adoption. - Because God designed adoption, it isnt a second-best option, so be sensitive about saying things that convey it is somehow a Plan B. - Comments like Im sure youll get pregnant now that youve adopted feed into unrealistic expectations. - Family, friends and church members shouldnt assume they know whats best for the adoptive family without being willing to learn about the differences in parenting a child who has experienced trauma. What helps adoptive families? - Consistent and specific prayer support is vital to an adoptive family. - A New Addition shower is very helpful even if the family is welcoming home an older child. - Ongoing support from friends and family—prayer, meals, cleaning, etc. It can take quite a long time before the family settles into a real routine and is doing well.
Posted on: Tue, 02 Dec 2014 15:11:30 +0000
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