What I think most people dont understand about leadership is that making decisions is not an absolute guarantee of success. That life is not a movie, every decision and move you make is not going to work perfectly to plan. We live in societies that believe first of all, that image is everything: if you make others perceive that you are, then I am, without the test of fire and conviction to prove that you are. A long time ago I learned though a series of events that the purpose of being the one making a decision is not to be perfect...but to make the damn decision on what to do. I learned this lesson by not believing that and I paid a price that hell, as far as I know Im still making. I believed that by making those perceive I was, that I myself, am. I didnt make that mistake again. One thing I was blessed with, is a mentor. My first commanding officer in the Navy took me under his wing and when the work day was over, he would spend time alone with me talking and explaining leadership. He believed there was something inside me different...and that I had the brain and the nuts even at 18 to become something else. We used to play Tennis a lot and I dont know how many times he made me look the idiot in public or at work only to discuss it in private when everybody else was gone for the day the number one lesson from it: you may have been an ass...you may have failed massively...but YOU made the decision..others did not. and that is the crux of life: those who do...and those who do not. Leadership is more about handling the failures with those around you than gloating on the success. Dont shy away from failure, wear it like a coat and ask for more...dont be afraid to fail, for thats where progress is going to happen. We had a very bad situation happen while on deployment, and men died. I was working one night and he called and asked me to drive to his hotel room. I arrived and he looked at me and said sit down James. I sat next to him at his desk and I watched him deal with the consequences of his actions. I sat there for two hours and we did not exchange a single word. I watched him conduct his business without the slightest hint of how bad it was bothering him and I understood that I was learning another important lesson: I learned from it that leadership is a mantel without emotion. Show me a leader who makes decision based on passion and Ill show you a leader i will defeat. Leadership is about decisions; decisions, despite the prevailing belief, are made in a vacuum. They affect the living but are not alive themselves and they work better when the person controlling it forgoes emotion in their execution of the decision. This does not mean to be a monster. The human factor of those around you are the most important thing in the formulation...it is in the formulation that the care and consideration of human feelings, emotions and ramifications are discussed and PASSIONATELY argued. ...but it is nothing in the execution. and that is the cold hard fact of life a lot of you who are living in a dream filled ideology of life fail to understand...and its your undoing. Youre butt hurt...youre angry...you feel life has unjustly treated you ...because you have not looked yourself in the eyes and taken control and made the decisions of your own life. Ideology is the dream of what life should be. Leadership is the execution of reality. Sometimes decisions have to be made, even bad ones, to push an agenda forward. I dont have the answers to everything: but if you need action...a decision...Im your damn man. Ill make it...and see you hell afterwards. Once something is decided, then you must be all on board with its execution. All on the same page...all on target...and all on course. and this aint The Avengers...you are more than likely going to fail. The only avenue to success is preparation and preparation can only begin when you realize that you do not have all the answers. It is in discovering that you are not perfect, that you may not be as smart as the next person, that LEADS you to making the RIGHT decisions based on everything at your disposal. A leader pushes the button...a GREAT leader pushes the button after consulting those around him on what to do. Recently I was speaking to someone about a certain situation and I said that if I were to be in a different position, I would approach it with the knowledge that I am making the decision, and my first decision is to gather them and others around and say what do you think?, open the issue up for discussion and in the end, I may go no, were doing it like X...but more than likely what will happen is that well end up with a new approach, so are we all on board with this?...if the consensus is yes then i promise you I will push the damn button and make it happen. In the end, I may fail and you may have the pleasure from the stands of indecision of pointing and laughing but you have not grown...I evolve with each situation while you bemoan fates touch upon your life. and with each failure I get stronger, because I realize that life is more about failure than success and it is how we process the failures and use them to turn defeats into victories that make us become a different human being from one age to the next. What I was at 16...is not who I was at 26...and who I am at 46 is totally different than what I had been and tomorrow I will become something else. We need leaders...we need YOU to be leaders. You may fail, but you succeed in the step and that is what we need from you...from all of us...is to push forward.
Posted on: Fri, 28 Mar 2014 20:42:05 +0000