What will Manmohan have written in his letter to Rajapaksa??? Since the contents are classified as state secret here is my guess... Dear Sir Rajapaksa, As I am suffering from dysentery for the past one week and looks likely that I will continue to suffer from it, I request you to kindly excuse my absence at the CHOGM to be held from 15 Nov to 17 Nov in Colombo. Kindly do not construe it to be a result of the protests / demonstrations / requests from Tamil Nadu. We do not consider Tamils to be Indians even if we insist on calling them so (or even humans ;) ) and do not take governance issues seriously just as you do not consider Tamils to be Sri Lankans either, though you assert rights over their land, and are rightly depriving them of any rights. Sir, we think Tamils are our set property, to be dispensed off as we find convenient to us. However we wish we could be as forthright as you in dealing with Tamils, sir. Taking inspiration from you , I think we will come to it shortly. Sir, you would have noticed, we already look the other way whenever you shoot Tamil fishermen. We will continue to do so Sir. Sir, Even if I may not be there personally, let me tell you sir, that I fully endorse the conduct of genocide which is sadly still an unfinished business of yours in the Tamil provinces, which my adopted mother, Shri Soniajis loyalist Salman Kurshid wil convey to you personally. Ive also Sir, instructed him to polish your shoes in private, even if his conduct in public too is akin to licking your boots. Let the 17 November pass Sir and I assure you post this bout of dysentery for which you assured me seat modifications at the conference hall into toilet seats, I have to decline as I do not wish to inconvenience others also into pulling their pants down for my sake. Sir, I know that you have told me that the toilet seat modifications made primarily for me however remains for all those in attendance. I being the shy and diffident type would rather leave it to the brave Sinhala soldiers who do not mind doing it in front of the camera or not. Sir, as I said, post this bout of dysentery, partly driven by that stern look you give me in private, I assure you that you will see a new me. An improved man who will pay for this absence with his unfailing obeisance to you in future. I am just as eager to lick your boots Sir. In fact, post my retirement from politics, which is just a few months away, Sir, I assure you that I will labour at your household in repentance. You just have to give the nod Sir, and I will be at your son, Sir Namal Rajapaksas heel, polishing his boots, wait to change Sir Namals future childs diapers, wash your missus, Siranthi Rajapaksas clothing...anything you say Sir. Ive done much more for my dear Soniajis own son. I have some experience already...whatever happens Sir, one thing is sure...I will miss a whole lot of shit that is going to happen at the commonwealth Sir. Forever in reverence, Your humble servant-student , Manmohan Singh. From: Manmohan Singh Sixth Standard, Class political Science, Z Section (for dull and dazed students) School India, New Delhi . To: Sir Rajapaksa, Head Master, School Sri Lanka, Colombo.
Posted on: Mon, 11 Nov 2013 09:18:37 +0000