Whats on my mind FB!? You asked. Doing the type of work that I do is VERY rewarding and I love it. I dont regret doing it for one second. However, for those that do this line of work, also understand its very taxing. I spend my week whole heartedly caring and giving 150% of my attention to others. When I come home, I am emotionally exhausted. I need some attention too. Does it mean I dont want to hang out, not necessarily. Does it mean Im worn out and may not be the best company? Sometimes. Im a damn homebody. If you dont know that about me by now, you dont know me at all. I need my own space and my own time and people are more than welcome to join me in that pretty much whenever they want to. Will I accept an invitation? Sometimes. If I have any damn energy. No one should ever take offense to that. Ever. Am I a fly by the seat of my pants kind of person? Nope. I prefer some things to be planned in advance. Does it mean I want to be excluded? Nope. Do I ever mean to hurt anyones feelings? Nope. Does me not wanting to go outside of my house and hang out mean I dont like you? Nope. People are busy too. I get that. I know I also cant expect people to just cancel their plans either because I feel like hanging out. All I can do is ask. If they are free, they are free. Im not nearly as sensitive as I used to be. I cant be. I feel easily rejected as part of my personality and Ive been working on handling that for a long time now. I am who I am and Ive been through the journey that Ive been through and its contributed to my way of thinking and who I have become. Ive made peace with that. Im in my garage every night when I get home. Chilling out for an hour. Usually. I relax for a little while and now Im trying to walk a couple of miles at least 5 days a week and afterwards I am ready to watch tv and go to bed. My weekends consist of resting. Not doing my hair and makeup and trying to recoup for my next week. Sometimes I need to do my grocery shopping. Sometimes, I want to do a family weekend. Sometimes I wish I had a game night set up. Im trying not to drink a lot though. Its not good for me. Its not good for my family. I want to have a few beers here and there though and not over do it. Im having hard time figuring out what that looks like. My one friend that wants to do kid stuff is all the way out in Johnston and thats quite a trip for me. She doesnt like to come all the way here and I dont like to go all the way there. But we still like each other and thats fine. We are still good friends regardless. If she needs me at 3am in the morning, Im still going to be around for her. Thats what its all about. It doesnt matter how much we actually get together. We are still there for one another. If you think people are tired of reaching out to me and including me, then I cant do anything about that. They are free to live as they want. Im not who I was three years ago and thats a damn good thing. I wasnt ok three years ago. I was in a bad place covered up with booze and belligerence. Im not proud of who I was. But thats how I coped with a very hurtful time in my life that NO ONE knows what it was like. However, I like me now. In fact, I love me now. Its been the first time in my life that I respect me and Im not going back. I cant be who I used to be. Ive let her go and all thats left now is the person you see every day. Thats enough for me. Im happy. Thats all I got. Im tired of explaining myself. This is it. I need my FB for my vegan family and other than that, I dont give a crap about it. Im over it.
Posted on: Sat, 19 Jul 2014 04:35:45 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015