When I was at school, I was always top 3 in my class. Yet, I had always felt inadequate. I think that was caused by my father who was quite a fastidious perfectionist. You see, I would run home bubbling with excitement, after receiving praises from my teachers and peers. I will then show it to my dad, who would look at it and say, Mmmm....goood. Uban ophum unamba 1? Id respond by saying Eric Majola or this other girl I cant remember. Next time you should get number 1, my dad would say. This thing make me feel not enough, though my dads intention was to inspire me to succeed more. You know, I didnt understand why some kids who merely passed will be so excited about it. It was the response they got from their parents. Abanye babeze bahlatshelwe ngisho neqhude bandla! This kind of response continued until Grade 12. This was where I had had enough! I expressed my dissatisfaction to my dad. He responded, Remember, Im not like your mother, dont expect me to be excited. If I remember correctly, my dad hardly expressed emotions, except that of anger. I think thats how he believed a man should be like. I dont blame him at all. He was only acting the best way he knew how to, at that particular time. But my main point in telling this story is this; you can receive affirmation from teachers and friends, but as a child, if you dont receive encouragement and praises at home, it will certainly damage your perceived self-worth. Another one, childhood is an important phase to lay a good foundation of the self. As I grow up, I have to work harder to compensate for the lack of proper foundation of a healthy self-concept by employing creative ways to enhance it. Be careful how you raise your kids, make sure you cultivate a positive sense of self. It will serve as a protective factor in a long run....
Posted on: Fri, 15 Nov 2013 12:55:00 +0000
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