When I was in preschool, they gave us two kinds of goldfish crackers for snack. The delicious cheesy kind and another kind that I thought were disgusting, even though I can’t remember what flavor they were. Yet every day, I would eat the gross black-speckled goldfish, finishing them first, before I allowed myself to enjoy the joy of the cheesy ones. This is called delayed gratification, and it is a process of scheduling the pain and pleasure of life in such a way as to enhance the pleasure by meeting and experiencing the pain first and getting it over with. This process of scheduling life is learned early in life and comes with a consistent, safe, loving environment. Yet when trauma strikes, something happens. By my teen years, after experiencing several traumas, I had developed an unhealthy habit of instant gratification. No longer did business come before pleasure. This happens because after trauma, the world became a dangerous and frightening place, and therefore it’s only understandable that I would not forsake any gratification in the present for the hope that it would come later – since in such a world, the future was uncertain, scary and unpredictable. I instead found pleasure in the now, leading to many unhealthy behaviors. In order to break out of this unhealthy habit, which played a huge role in my addiction, I have to create a safe world for myself where I can relearn that it is safe, and to my benefit, to delay gratification. - T4A Staff Member
Posted on: Wed, 19 Jun 2013 17:00:01 +0000
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