When I was younger, Id say around 17, I caught my first panic attack. I didnt know what it was at first....I actually thought it was a heart atttack and I was gonna die. Clearly I didnt, but at that time it felt like I was. I always remembered seeing my mom ( Millie Figueroa) suffer from the panick attacks and I remember how scared I was thinking what is wrong with mommy. She used to just cry on the couch and the fear on her face made me so sad and i just wanted her better...Then when it happened to me, I couldnt believe it. All i could think of and was how these panick attacks crippled my mother for a period of time. She didnt want to do anything because she never knew when it would be triggered.... I remember being so scared and the fear would trigger and send me into panick attacks and that happened frequently. For a while I had no control over it... I would pass out from not being able to breathe properly and I literally felt an immense sense of doom come over me... every noise in the background became a muffled sound and all I could hear was my heart beating through my own chest....I could hear my thoughts and can remember speaking to myself basically saying get a grip: Dont let this take over: fear is not of GOD. It took a really long time to snap myself out of the attacks. The Doctors tried giving me medication, but anyone who knows me knows I hate taking pills. I honestly felt like taking pills would make me feel even more like a prisoner to the disorder. I remember thinking I want to be like my mom in every way except with the panick attacks...i dont want them running my life. (thank God Almighty that as of today, my beautuful momma is panick attack free.) Do you want to know what was my rememdy???? It wasnt medicine, however, to me, something more powerful. It took Looking at myself in the mirror and coaching myself through the panic and realizing that I was in control. And this isnt the life for me. It took me laughing at how ridiculous it was to feel doom over literally nothing. I also became conscious of my activities before the attacks and took on a no one died mentality. And thank God, I can honestly say its been about 5 years since my last attack :) Life is always better when youre in the driver seat and God is reading you the directions :) Thats a little about me :) Cynthia Lee
Posted on: Sat, 02 Aug 2014 17:56:30 +0000
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