When going through pain we all need our friends and family. Every burden is easier to carry when we can share it with someone who loves us. Everyone wants and desires that. It goes without saying. Love and friendship is a beautiful thing and is an honor. And because it IS such an honor, we all have a responsibility to be honest. The things I am about to talk about here are intended to point out that there are people out there that use their suffering in a different way. Its about manipulation... This is not intended to discourage anyone to avoid sharing their pain, thats a necessary part of life... its about discouraging dishonesty... Its about those who use their suffering to advance themselves or to make things appear to be something they arent. Its about the sympathy factor. Its about possessiveness, revenge and control. Lets face it, you all know what I am talking about... Its as old as time... Manipulating or controlling others through the use of suffering is, was and remains to be extremely effective. Especially for people who find they cannot be direct or honest in their interactions. Who argues with someone who is hurting? Holding on to baggage and hurt is the only power some people feel they have-- getting better is not an attractive replacement. Why would it be? Becoming stronger and being honest represents more than just getting over it-- getting better and being honest means they lose the sympathy factor-- it moves them to a state of personal empowerment, from a condition of vulnerability to one of invincibility, from victim to victor, from holding someone else responsible, to TAKING responsibility. For some, this is not an option. Why? Because to get better would mean to give up control of everyone around them-- they enjoy the attention, the sympathy and the ability to manipulate the people who care. Why admit to any wrong doing when it (seems) much more self serving to milk as much sympathy and attention out if a negative situation as possible? Getting better and being honest means they would have to admit to lying to the world around them--They would have to take responsibility for their own actions, they would have to admit their own responsibility in CREATING the storm that hurt them in the first place-- for some this is just not possible. Why take responsibility when they dont have to? Why would they ever openly apologize for anything? They know they have committed a massive lie, a misdeed, not only to the people they are directing all their anger and ugliness to, but to those that really do care about them, to those who they have manipulated in the process. They know inside they will have made them all, every one, their enemy... they are so overwhelmed with guilt and the need for sympathy they will deny everything to their grave. Be aware- these people exist. Ive seen it in action. Anyone who has ever dealt with this sort of behavior knows as well as I do, it puts anyone caught in the middle in a very bad place. Its so unfair. When you let go of control and commit yourself to happiness, it is so easy to offer compassion and forgiveness. Its so easy to recognize how you are hurting the innocent around you. Its easy to see how you sometimes create your own storms. Its easy to look in the mirror. Its easy to see how you can IMPROVE you. Your focus is no longer about revenge and hatred but forgiveness and love. When you dwell on things that have happened to you, youre not just taking the person you perceive to have hurt you or the people you hate down... Oh no, youre taking the people who love YOU down with you. Think about that a moment. Thats a pretty big responsibility. Are the people who manipulate ever willing to take that one? Of course not. They expect to receive the satisfaction of someone else taking the blame or responsibility but they are completely incapable of taking any if it themselves. When you take your life back-- when you take responsibility, when you LET GO-- Everyone around you are released to be happier- yes it releases everyone else from your control and manipulation but most of all, It releases you!! It propels you from the past, into the PRESENT. People that are negative, spend so much time trying to control situations and blame others for their problems they dont realize letting go of it and committing themselves to staying positive means they actually do have have control!! Staying positive means you can control the one thing you CAN do something about-- yourself!! You DO have control over how you react, feel, think and believe in the PRESENT. No one has the right to say theyve lost control of THAT due to anything anyone ELSE has done to them. Thats all YOU. OWN IT. When you are positive, despite your hurts and disappointments, you become an example to others!! To see someone TRY is INSPIRING!! Youre no longer a burden, youre no longer jealous or have a need to possess or hurt anyone. You become a giving light to everyone around you. Seeing someone feel sorry for themselves or hang onto misery and hurt eventually becomes so heavy for the people who love you, they cant carry it-- you will ALWAYS be disappointed if you expect them to!! Every. Single. Time. But if you truly love them, why would you WANT them to to carry it? Thats not what LOVE is!! Think about what the Bible says about love and its true meaning. Dont expect to receive that. GIVE IT. Everyone already has their own pain. Why would you want anyone else to carry yours? Stand up and carry it yourself. Why not recognize the power Inside of you? THAT is a God given strength and is being wasted. Turn your pain Into a message. I encourage anyone holding onto anger and hurt to let go of it. The freedom that comes with forgiveness, the freedom that comes from admitting when youre wrong and being honest about it is nothing short of amazing. TRYING is beautiful. Improving yourself is beautiful. Let go of the past as much as you can, so you can reap the rewards of a better life today and so can the people near to you!! It opens up the doors and windows and lets a light in. It is a CHOICE.. And no one can do that for you. But REMEMBER!!! They cant take it FROM you either. No one has that much power!! Stop giving your power away. Just because youve been hurt does not give you the right to hurt others. EVERYONE has been hurt. No one is immune to that. We ALL understand the concept. ITS LIFE! That pain does not give you the right to make other people carry what has happened to you. It does not give you the power to manipulate the people around you to fight your battles for you or offer you any more sympathy than you truly deserve. It doesnt give you the right to be mean, angry, jealous and possessive. Release yourself from that burden. Release the people (you say) you love from it too. You cant learn from your mistakes if your busy trying to make others pay. That helps no one. Be an encourager. Be an inspiration. Dont be a manipulator. The world has enough of those. Just some thoughts.
Posted on: Sat, 13 Sep 2014 23:29:43 +0000