When my mother was displeased with me, she would go to her bedroom, sit on the edge of the bed and read the Bible for hours, skip dinner, and not speak to me. If she was really upset, would close the door and not come out for two days, or come out only when I had gone to bed, avoiding me completely...one time, she did not speak to me for a week. Withholding affection... she was so skilled at the art of psychological torture...and still is.... as she goes out of this world, per vascular dementia, she has made sure to verbally and emotionally abuse my sister for as long as she is able...this will be her legacy, that of alienation and manipulation...I can only feel deep sadness and regret, having detached from her several years ago, in order to survive...but I worry my sister will stay broken, she has already hinted at suicide. Thinking of fools today, I include the ship of fools which has been our deeply flawed family, hidden behind a guise of religious devotion. I most likely will not attend her funeral. But I WILL mourn the loss of a mother who could not open herself more freely to us, whose good qualities have been shaded with enigma, distrust and betrayal.
Posted on: Wed, 02 Apr 2014 03:45:01 +0000
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