Where I am weak God is making me strong. I am a sufferer of Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Depression and many other mental illnesses. I am telling my story to bring awareness to someone who is or know someone who maybe facing this. I am no longer afraid or embarrass of my illness and I have accepted it for what it is. Im going to tell you how real this illness is and can be in these few paragraphs. I began to notice I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, OCD, Depression, and intrusive thoughts a week ago. I never wanted to accept something that I had no clue about, because In my household growing up the women was taught to be strong. I never saw my mother break down except for a few times, and thats when I became much older. She always held her head high through all the hell that was surrounding her, so I believed thats how I had to be. I was always a nervous child growing up for some reason, and now I knew why. I had Generalized Anxiety Disorder from the start and it took me 22 years to realize it. I knew nothing about Depression until after I had my son, and I told my husband that I wanted to end my life. I know crazy right, she has a wonderful husband and two beautiful kids. When depression is left untreated for so long it could and can morph into something more serious. That was not the first time I wanted to end my life and if I knew what I know now I would of got help along time ago. I was just a lost girl who was constantly surrounded by problems that did not know how to overcome or cope with them. So I lashed out and did things that Im not proud of but it happen. I still suffer from these things and everyday its an constant battle to get out of the bed and get through the day. I constantly is in a battle with my brain on how I feel physical let alone mentally. Just sitting here writing this has me on the brink of passing out. These illnesses are real and they are scary... They are as serious as someone who has cancer. I am feed up with doctors who just brush it off as it only being in your head, which is true. But at the same time they do cause physical symptoms. For example chest pain and heart arrhythmia, anxiety and also depression can cause this. I know because I now wear an monitor that record my heart because of something in doctors words as small as anxiety. I just want to give awareness to someone out there that you are not alone, that there is hope. Continue to pray and believe in god and he will see you through I promise. I will make it my mission to become an advocate for this so my sons and no one else will have to be afraid to face this. This to shall pass, and thank anyone who read this. Please share and please bring awareness to mental illnesses. This is for you mama R.I.P
Posted on: Tue, 04 Mar 2014 01:38:06 +0000
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