Where do I go from here? What do I really want? Do the stories I tell myself make everything okay? Can I change? Do I want to? Is this all Ill ever be? Is that, repeated over the coming years, all I have to look forward to? Why is this so familiar? Being familiar, why does it still hurt so much? Why do all the questions I ask myself seem to have at least two contradictory yet equally valid answers? Will I ever feel integrated and certain again? Why am I posting this on Facebook instead of keeping it in my head when advice and consolation are the last things I want? Do I expect it to change something? Does the act of sharing relieve some of the anguish of cognitive dissonance? Am I hoping to connect through shared experience and apologize for my self-important neglect of others without explicitly doing so? Who am I and whom do I want to be?
Posted on: Wed, 20 Aug 2014 04:51:23 +0000
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