Who Asked You? Posted by Terri Cole / August 11, 2013 / Leave a comment Have you ever gone to a friend to talk because you were upset, and instead of actively listening, she starts offering unsolicited advice about what you should do? Does that interaction make you feel supported and heard, or are you left feeling robbed of the space to problem solve that you were actually seeking? Are you guilty of giving unasked-for advice or criticism? When someone comes to you in pain, if you immediately start offering solutions rather than listening and holding space as a caring witness, you are doing your pal a disservice. We reactively give advice because it makes US feel better. Your friend’s distress causes you discomfort, so you want to help or fix it. And although doing that may lessen your discomfort, it really does not help your friend. So much of the time, our friends and loved ones would actually just like us to hold space for them to figure it out on their own. Empathically listening will accomplish your desire to ease your pal’s suffering much more effectively than trying to make her decisions for her. - See more at: terricole/who-asked-you/?utm_source=Who+Asked+You%3F&utm_campaign=Who+Asked+You%3F&utm_medium=email#sthash.rOqwfd8G.dpuf
Posted on: Mon, 12 Aug 2013 22:00:53 +0000
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015