Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle. Jason Derulo really wants you to wiggle, wiggle wiggle. No, he isn’t talking to little children, asking them to wiggle their tooth to free it from the captivity of the mouth and the tyrannical rule of the gums. He isn’t talking to worms, asking them to wiggle their bodies in such a way that attracts a big mouth bass or Bear Grylls. Derulo is talking to you, that person who against all odds “got all of dat in dem jeans.” An engineering feat rivaling the Golden Gate Bridge, Jason Derulo in his newest song “Wiggle” wants you to, you guessed it, wiggle. More persistent than an Advocare seller, more desperate than Cowboys fan, and more explicit than the Surgeon General’s warning, Derulo encourages you 52 times to shake what your mama gave you. But he’s not the first to do this. In 1992, Sir Mix-a-Lot proclaimed before all who had ears to hear that he likes big butts and he cannot lie. With that honest confession, the genie was let out of the bottle, or you could say we have not been able to put the junk back into the trunk. Urban poet Juvenile would follow in 1999, strongly encouraging his listening audience, both big and small butts, to back that thang up. Backing that thang up is more than putting one’s thang in reverse like a car, rather it’s shaking your tail feather (Nelly) like a Polaroid picture (OutKast). One must shake it fast (Mystical) then drop it like it’s hotttt (Snoop D-O-Double G). But today is a new day, and today we wiggle. More creative Hallmark card writer, Derulo uses a variety of concepts to describe what doctors and that one guy that looks like Colonel Sanders from The Water Boy call the Gluteus Maximus. Yes, it would be easy to refer to it as that “big fat butt,” but why do that when you can say it is “like two planets?” If I’m honest, I think mine would be like Pluto, small and questionable whether it’s even a planet. You assume it’s there, but you are not sure whether it’s my butt or just an extension of my legs. Or when Derulo says it’s like a “Cadillac, Cadillac, pop that trunk.” I’m no Cadillac, I’m more like a used Honda with a hatchback. He not only uses a variety of concepts to describe the Gluteus Maximus, but also uses some images to describe the wiggling. One particular Gluteus Maximus has the ability to “play patty cake with no hands.” Similar to Google’s self-driving car or a humble Texas A&M fan, I will believe it when I see it. But the whole point of wiggling for Derulo is to experience satisfaction and remove any prospects of isolation. Jason thinks that if you wiggle well enough you “can be famous on Instagram,” which puts you in the company of random people in New York and a guy who has an anger issues that goes by the name of Justin Bieber. Not only famous on Instagram, but if you are a worthy wiggler, you can find that special someone “to take bubble baths with” and “make wedding plans with” (hopefully wedding plans are not made in the bubble bath). But is it possible that maybe wiggling isn’t the best way to experience fulfilling satisfaction and remove the possibility of isolation? Is it possible that maybe wiggling is a reason you are not satisfied and feel so alone? When your satisfaction is based upon what you do, it is only a matter of time before you say “I can’t even...” When someone is only with you based upon what you can do for them, this turns the relationship into something like UPS (“what can brown do for you”). UPS can deliver a package, but I don’t think I can trust them with a relationship…yet. You see, you might wiggle to experience some level of satisfaction in what you can do. You might wiggle to rid yourself of loneliness. But God did more than wiggle to ensure our complete satisfaction and remove any hint of isolation. God did more than wiggle to us, but ran after us. God did more than wiggle in front of us, but was crucified for us. God did more than wiggle to satisfy us, He was resurrected to complete us. I am sure God is good at wiggling, after all, it does say that He didn’t come to be served, but to serve. But I am so glad He did more than wiggle, but left “God’s great dance floor (thanks for the cheesy imagery Chris Tomlin)” to run after us and demonstrate His love for us. God left the party in order to make a way for more people to come to the party. He knew there was no amount of wiggling we could do to be completely satisfied, so He did more than wiggle in order to provide complete satisfaction for us. This satisfaction is not found in wiggling, but in Him. The invitation He extended cost a lot, specifically the life of His son Jesus, but He was pleased to do it because He loves more than any dance move can communicate. He loves you, not for what you can do, but for who you are. And because He loves you, He wants to provide for you, satisfy you, and be with you. But He is not asking you to wiggle for Him, but trust in Him. No one will ever make me a ham sammich because of my wiggling. I don’t imagine anyone asking me to take a bow because of my wiggle skills. But I’m glad Jason Derulo encourages us all to wiggle. With every wiggle, I am reminded that I have a bright future before me because of that wiggling behind me. And that might be a reason why I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Posted on: Sat, 14 Jun 2014 22:08:17 +0000
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