Winter for horse people: Get up. Put on every piece of clothing you have. Swear under your breath. Take off every piece of clothing to you have to go pee. Put on every piece of clothing you have. Go outside. Fall on steps. Swear under your breath. Try to hook hose to spigot. Try again. Kick spigot. Swear out loud. Go back into house. Slip on steps again. Swear. Get into kitchen. Swear and scream - return outside to get buckets. Return to kitchen and fill with hot water. Go outside. Immediately spill one bucket on clothes. Manage to get one bucket into water trough. Repeat until trough is full or until you commit suicide. Try going down to barn. Fall 50-60 times in frozen mud ruts. Scream repeatedly. Pull hay bales and drag out until you rupture a hernia. Start back to the house. Jump up and down on frozen clods in frustration. Return to barn to close barn door you forgot. Return to house. Scream and panic because you forgot to close spigot and water is now running. Everywhere Close spigot and get sprayed with icy water. Go inside. Remove all the clothing you own and brew some coffee. Look outside. Realize you forgot to feed the horse in top paddock who needs soaked feed. Put on everything you own. Whimper a little. Go outside to fill buckets. Cry out loud because buckets are now in the house. Go back into house. Fall on icy lake from spigot. Crawl on hand and knees inside, retrieve buckets, and go back outside. Fill with hay cubes. Return inside, fill with hot water. Go outside, feel triumphant. Celebrate by falling on ice a 2nd time. Bring soaked cubes to horse and tie on fence. Go back inside. Remove all the clothing you own, now frozen and hang everywhere. Drink coffee. Sigh. Look outside 30 minutes later Slam head repeatedly on counter. Soaked feed is frozen. Repeat.
Posted on: Wed, 31 Dec 2014 18:00:35 +0000
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