With October being Downs syndrome awareness month, allow me to introduce my sweet and very special uncle Mohammad Sameja or as we have always known him, Abbhi kaka. As a child we never really understood why he was different but we loved him all the same knowing well that there was a fundamental difference between his world and ours. One thing always stood out for me was Abbhi kakas independence. How he would make his way around the city without any help. Befriend the local community shop keepers, police men schools bus drivers, everyone whom he happened to meet. People were not always kind to him. Children often teased and called him names. This was in the 70s and 80s when the understanding of special needs was not there. How many times would he stand outside my junior school gates just to say hello and the other children would leer throw things at him, and ultimately start teasing me for his condition. Often I would get into scrapes and arguments in the playground reducing me to tears. I remember once he was chided severely by the family for hanging outside my school, and when he did not pass by for a week, I had those who teased him asking me where he was. Although as I child I felt relieved I did not have to witness the cruel behaviour of my classmates, I silently missed seeing him. Years went by. Abbhi kaka married had a daughter became a grandfather but yet he held onto his childlike innocence and vulnerability. I was never sure he really fully understood the roles he played and what responsibilities he had, however, he, in his own way, tried to innocently fulfil them; often to the amusement and entertainment of others but that was his way, his understanding, more importantly; his expression of the world. He never was worldly, perhaps it was this very trait that separates him from others. He had a friend, Paul Kershaw, who was our neighbour, and, with Downs himself. Abbhi kaka would excitingly point him out to me and say hes my friend, hes like me, Pau, my friend. Thats when I thought everyone needs a person like them who they can relate to and feel we are not alone. Now Abbhi kaka has detached himself completely from the world. Dementia progressing into Alzheimers has taken its complete hold on him. Only on rare occasion will, he recognise us and speak. He does not even realise what hes feeling apart from pain and discomfort which will make him cry out momentarily. Yet hunger (he was a foodie and loved all kinds of foods) happiness thirst, call of nature, sadness, all are beyond him. There will be moments where like in the photos, we see the sun shining from behind the clouds but again its rare. Now we are greeted with silent glances smiles akin to those given by a passing stranger. I cant help but thinking, was this, his way of saying enough of your cruelty world, Im not giving you the opportunity anymore. I have wondered since learning about his illness. Was his soul tired of being treated with indifferent apathy or just annoyed and decided enough is enough. Ignorance and oblivion is bliss. Hes oblivious to the cruelty around him and ignorant of the excessive smothering sympathy. Hes blissful in his world and detached. Perhaps, he is actually at one with the Beloved. A place which we can only aspire and long for? Perhaps, he has already sought out what we are seeking? Perhaps?
Posted on: Thu, 02 Oct 2014 21:19:41 +0000
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