With all the talk about depression after the sad loss of Robin Williams ... there is a lot of information being shared about how people feel when theyre depressed and what THEY should do, but there does not seem to be a lot of information about what someone should do if they are the family member or friend of someone with depression and how they can help. Here are a couple of important things that I think family and friends of depressed people should know (note, this is just from personal experience - I have absolutely no medical qualifications): 1. Depression is an illness, not just an attitude that the person can change ... its an illness caused by an imbalance in the persons body (hormones / serotonin or stuff like that), just like diabetes is an illness caused by an imbalance of insulin (again, simplistic as Im not medically qualified). Sometimes it can be corrected with a change in lifestyle (like type two diabetes) ... sometimes it requires medication to correct it (like type one diabetes). 2. As an illness, it should not be a taboo subject. Its OK to talk to your friend or family member about it occasionally and its actually good to re-assure them its OK to call / come around if they need to talk. Dont just assume that this is understood, because during the dark times someone with depression does not want to bother anyone, but more importantly, is scared that if they do, their friend/family member will no longer want to have anything to do with them because theyre stupid and too high maintenance. 3. If your depressed friend does contact you - just let them talk. Acknowledge their feelings. Dont try to fix the problem ... you cant. Dont push the point of telling them how great they are or how much they have to offer - they wont be prepared to hear it at that point in time. They mostly need someone they can trust to be able to say out loud whats in their head. Its amazing how once you say it out loud, the mountain becomes a molehill (as the saying goes). Of course, if they have contacted you to say goodbye and then you lose contact ... call for help (Police or Ambulance)! 4. And finally, if someone you love does commit suicide ... its never your fault ... ever ...! It is a decision that is made by the person and it just means the pain in their head (emotional pain is impossible to explain to someone who has not experienced it, but trust me, its one of the most intense feelings you can ever experience) became too much for them to bear and at that point in time, they believed that was their only way out. I hope this might help some of the family and friends out there who wonder what they should be doing for their loved ones who are going through tough times with depression. Of course, this is only from my own experience ... if you do think its helpful, please feel free to add other helpful suggestions. If you dont think its helpful ... feel free to delete it. :)
Posted on: Fri, 15 Aug 2014 02:56:52 +0000
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