Would like to share some things with everyone. Now, this is kinda long, but if your feeling down or at or about to be on rock bottom, you should read this. Im not one to post lots of personal matters on Facebook anymore like I used to when I was younger. But, Ive noticed several friends going through hard times, and some that just think they are going through hard times. Id like to tell you about the past 2 to 2 1/2 years of my life and how they have changed the man I am today. I know there are plenty of people that have had it worse than me, but I feel the need to share with hopes of helping someone. Ive been told that while a young child, I loved to talk(who would have guessed, right?). One of my favorite things to say was I can do it. My family reminds me of that all the time. My grandfather used to constantly mention the time when I was around 5 years old and I wanted to help him and his friend build the deck at his house. I wanted to hammer a nail into a board so bad. So my papaw laughed, and eventually gave in to my begging request. He wanted to help me, but I said I can do it papaw. Well, he always began laughing at this part of the story because the nail was hammered perfectly. I had this ambition and will power to do things that I wanted to. Anything I told myself I can do, I did it. Years past and a young man I became. It seemed as if one of my priorities in life was to make my family proud. I didnt really care much about being recognized for anything special, just wanted to show my family that they have raised a good man. So, I wanted to go above and beyond anything that I did but not just for myself, my family also. I kno, I kno, lets get to the point already! Well, at 18 I was lucky enough to get involved in what would soon be my career, Law Enforcement. It was the greatest thing that had ever happened to me. At only 20 years old, I had started a career that would soon build strong character, integrity, professionalism, and respect for my fellow man. But this job soon would show me that its not all about the pretty blue light, the loud sirens, and the shiny badge on my chest. I realized quick that all I see is the worst of the world. The evil side of everyone and everything. The horrific screams of people during the lost of a loved one. Trying to hold mothers back from running to a vehicle accident with her child inside, deceased. Neglective mothers, drug dealing fathers, dirty children, discussing houses(roaches crawling across your shoes), killers, rapist, and so on. Of course there were plenty of good people too. People I have been able to help. I have always been someone that can and will do whatever I can to help someone. (This is quickly turning into a biography lol. Promise, almost there). But, even though there was more bad than good in my job, I loved it. But still, all of these things must go home with an officer. And that officer must lay his head down at night and wonder to their self if they made the right decision that day. Ive always felt that I have made the right decision, no matter what. I went to work one August morning in 2012 with no different expectations other than it to be a regular day. Close to the end of my shift, I found that expectation to be wrong. It had happened. The most unexpected incident. The thing all officers train for more than anything. Mussel memory and extensive training took over. I remember keying up my shoulder mic and saying those dreadful words: 813, Shots Fired. My head felt like a rocking boat. I could not believe what just happened. Its almost like I was trying to tell myself that it didnt. The scene was flooded by law enforcement. All because of my actions. Was it the right decisions? I believe so. But, it still dwells on my mind daily. A month or so goes by. Im off duty. A call comes in to my mother that one of my siblings is being assaulted by her biological father(mind you that this the same man that I watched beat my mother to an inch of her life when I was 6 years old. On top of the constant abuse I was receiving). So, I did what any man, brother would do. I told mom to get in the car, were going out there. She immediately started talking to 911 about the incident. 911 was sending county units that way, but they were a ways out. My sister then called and said the words that changed everything: he said hes going to get a gun. My objective was to get my sister and leave. But after arriving, I was met by her father running toward us with what looked to be a riffle. He stopped, aimed, and began firing at my family and I. Being an officer, I always have a weapon, just in case. I fired back, but he was way to far away. But it scared him enough to quit, and retreat into his home. An investigation was conducted and I was indicted by a grand jury for a felony charge. I was devistated to find out that what the initial report said, was just about completely wrong. If I was sitting on that jury, and heard what that report said, I would have voted yes as well. And here it begins. The following day there was a warrant issued for my arrest. I was terminated from my job as a police officer. Everything I had ever worked for was gone. I was told I would never work in law enforcement again. All because of a man that had been arrested for violent assault charges his entire life. Of course council was hired, and I was given the option that the state would drop the charges as long as my sister would drop the domestic assault charges she had against him. WHAT!! ARE YOU KIDDING! So your telling me that I can risk being a wrongfully convicted felon if my sister doesnt drop a charge that he has been charged with over 7 times by other women? Of course, to keep the risk of me being in trouble out of the picture, she dropped it. Case was dismissed and closed. My former employer never hired me back. Despite the fact that everything had been dismissed and all charges expunged. So, the look for work began. I looked, looked, and looked. No luck. I wanted to be a cop again so bad. But it wasnt looking promising. Just when things couldnt seem to get any further to rock bottom. The unimaginable happened. The moment I had dreaded my entire life. Something I had just told myself was never going to happen. On a frosty November morning at dawn, while on our annual hunting trip 2 hours away from home, my grandfather passed away in my arms. We were there with some relatives and friends, but we were the last to be leaving camp. As I was on my knees next to him in the open field, I begged. I pleaded for him not to leave me. He was my rock. He was the center of the family. He had taught me just about everything I knew. I started cpr, but something told me it was over, and he was already home. I immediately took all of my emotions and shouted to the sky in hatred to the lord. Why are doing this to me? What have I done to deserve all of this? What are you going take from me next? I wasnt sure I could make it around my home town without my Papaw. It just didnt seem right. I knew what to expect. I knew without papaw around any longer the family would begin to fall apart. Normal family traditions would cease to exist any longer. But I knew that someone had to remain strong, and be as much as I possibly could of him. On the day of papaws funeral, I received a phone call for a job interview with a police department. Wow. Really? And to beat all, it was the department papaw said he hoped I would go work for the night before his passing. I got the job. I decided to not hold anything back anymore. I told myself I was going to start spearheading these dreams I had. I told myself I can do it. I decided to run for an elected office and won. And I still have future plans to be a business owner. To sum all of this up, we all go through hard times, weather it be stress at work or home. We have to learn to live with stressful situations, and we have to learn to live with our problems at home. We need to always be kind to our family members, because their all we really have in this world. And always put God first. Even though I said those things that day in the field with papaw, God knew what I was going through. He knew my struggle. And he had a plan. I guess this is kinda a testimony of how faith can be tested. Im here to tell you, it was a hard test. Luckily, things seem to be shaping up. But next time your hitting rock bottom, let your knees hit first. You can stay there if you want, or you can pray and tell your self I can do it. Thanks for reading.
Posted on: Tue, 21 Oct 2014 06:59:37 +0000
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