Wow, subhanAllah. This is absolutely tragic! It is my estimation that in almost all of these divorces [20,000 marriage cases], a primary cause was the meddling of the in-laws and extended family. Had the couple been allowed to work things out, I believe that 75 % of these divorces would not have taken place. -Dr. Ali al-Tantawi MEDDLING IN-LAWS = HIGH DIVORCE RATES!!!!!!!!! If our families are driving us apart then when, where, and with whom are our marriages safe? While a lot of the blame falls on the ones who are meddling, both the husband and wife also share some of the responsibility. After all, how are the meddlers getting inside the marriage doors in the first place? Who is giving them the key? When you get married you need to protect your marriage like a fortress from ALL outsiders and always remain a UNITED FRONT. You dont divide and take sides with anyone outside of your marriage, even your own parents. Rather, you learn the art of diplomacy and fairness for the sake of God, not for the sake of your spouse or anyone else. This means that you both agree to judge every situation by Gods standards and not anyone elses, and you always respect each others families by using loving, patient, and understanding language when dealing with them but you never compromise the principles of your faith or the agreements of your marriage. It also means that you properly understand what birr al walidayn (filial piety) is in Islam, NOT in your culture. So many people conflate it with absolute and unequivocal obedience and compliance with ones parents, even as they see their own marriages and homes falling apart they think they are doing the right thing and somehow making God happy! This is extremely common and incredibly flawed! May God protect our marriages and give us the strength to keep all meddlers and would-be meddlers safely at bay without causing division. Ameen.
Posted on: Sun, 19 Oct 2014 17:55:41 +0000
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