YEAH.... OK...... SOOOO....... Yall know how there are some things in life that only happen once in a lifetime.... sometimes good..... sometimes bad..... yeah..... I had one of those things happen to me tonight.... HOPEFULLY...... NEVER TO HAPPEN AGAIN...... and it was such a pleasant evening until the incident..... I had a late call in Highland Beach, off of A1A, right next to the ocean.... quite a breezy night, very pleasant.... the call went well and I started my 30 min drive home, didnt really mind it though as I was driving up Ocean Blvd with my windows open enjoying the breezy night..... and Lydia was cooking a delicious meal I was looking forward to eating (pork chops, spaghetti squash, Mids sauce... mmm mm).... sooo, I get home and Lydia greets me at the door, she tells me to take a picture of Aiden, who fell asleep on the couch holding her phone that he was playing video games on... liiiittttlllleeeee did I know what lay in store about 30 seconds later.... so...Im taking the picture and Lydia goes back into the kitchen to serve the meal when I hear her scream JOHN.... THERES A BUG IN THE KITCHEN!!!!... Well.... anyone who lives in Florida knows aaaalllllll about the cute little brown leggy long antennaeee bugs affectionately known as Palmetto Bugs.... yeah right .... they are phucking ugly cock roaches...... the bane of living in Florida... well, next to hurricanes and alligators and sharks.... ok.... so... I guess since Im the guy... its my DUTY to come and kill the little SOB.... so, I grabs me a paper towel and get to work.... I grab it in the paper towel and squeeze, thinking the little phucker is dead... but, alas, didnt really get a good squeeze in.... its still wiggling in the paper towel.... so I squeeze again.... and then it happened..... the little SOBS GUTS SPRAYED ALL OVER MY PHUCKING FACE...... ON MY FOREHEAD.... IN MY EYES, ON MY NOSE, ON MY CHEEKS AND ON MY LIPS..... SOOOONNNNOOOFFFAAAABIIIIITTTTTCCCCHHHHHH!!!!!! Now Lydia had no idea what just happened so when I scream out a few choice obscenities shes like... whats wrong... what happened.... in the meantime Im running to the sink... filled with pots and pans..... in an attempt to wash the cockroach goo from my face...she still has no idea of what just transpired.... MOVE THE PANS, MOVE THAT DISH I scream as I start splashing water over my mug..... THE COCKROACH EXPLODED IN MY FACE I explain.... and then I hear it..... LAUGHTER..... MY WIFE IS LAUGHING AT ME..... I GET GOOBED BY A PUCKING ROACH AND SHES LAUGHING... soooo..... I wash my face like 5 times totally grossed out .... and do the only thing that will fix this night.... GRAB A COLD COORS LIGHT..... btw... dinner was delicious
Posted on: Fri, 23 Jan 2015 02:20:52 +0000
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