You Might be a Redneck Jedi If….. •You ever heard the phrase, “May the force be with ya’ll.” •Your Jedi robe is camouflage. •You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light. •At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored. •You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok. •You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard. •The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters. •Wookies are offended by your B.O. •You have ever used the Force to get yourself another beer so you didn’t have to wait for a commercial. •You have ever used the Force in conjunction with fishing/bowling. •Your father has ever said to you, “Shoot, son come on over to the dark side… it’ll be a hoot.” •You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light. •You have a Confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder. •You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window. •Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women. •You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca. •You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with a redwood deck. •You were the only one drinking Jack Daniels during the cantina scene. •Your business cards read “Billy Bob, Jedi Master”. •Your Y-wing fighter has a bumper sticker that reads “My other fighter is an X-wing”. •You know Ewoks squeal like pigs. •You use your R-2 unit as a beer coaster. •When your sister wears her metallic bikini, you insist she travels by clinging to you while swinging on a rope. •Your land-speeder had a light saber rack. •Your land-speeder has a bumper sticker that reads “Protected by Smith & Wesson Light Sabers” •If you hear … “Billy Bob, I am your father … AND your uncle!”
Posted on: Wed, 31 Jul 2013 02:32:11 +0000
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