You made your choice. Now live with it. Last year, in the summer, I made a difficult decision. I decided to leave CFI Ottawa and Canada. I gave up my position as secretary of the Ottawa branch. I left quietly out of consideration for the changes being made within the national chapter and the hope that it would move in the right direction. The decision not to talk about what made me leave was a difficult one, but I did it out of the hope that things would improve. Than this week Alex started getting emails that one of his statuses violated the volunteer code of conduct. The status in question made no mention of the person it was directed at. In fact the person was unable to see it because they had been blocked. The status included the words “Hope the door hits you on the way out.” Which was apparently characterized as a threat. The person that this “threat” was directed at was someone who was unfriended for posting a link to A Voice for Men, with the suggestion that anti-feminists were an “oppressed group.” This same person had previously posted several memes perpetuating the harmful idea that ADHD isn’t real. I had tried to reason with her on multiple occasions. When I posted a status about the damage done by such memes, and several people came in to share their stories of what they endured as a result, this person took this occasion to mock these people and engage in suicide related jokes. When she was warned that I found this unacceptable behaviour and that what she was doing was triggering, she doubled down and among other things included a suggestion that if our experiences were that bad that we should end our lives. To my knowledge, this person has not been told that their actions violated the code of conduct. Over the years Alex and I have devoted ourselves to the group. I put my mental health in jeopardy, burning myself out several times trying to help make CFI succeed. The Ottawa group in particular were a support system for both Alex and I. However, we could no longer remain involved when the people who formed the community were pushed out time and time again by those who made it an unsafe space. The people who have taken over the Ottawa branch as the interim directors are a man who would rather lose friends than stop playing Devil’s Advocate in matters of human rights. Who sees nothing wrong with sharing damaging pro-life, anti-feminist, transphobic, and other memes in the interest of “sparking debate.” Who chose to keep people he himself referred to as bigot in his company, and unfriended those who he claimed were supporting his ideals. The other person is a woman who is vocal in her defence of so-called Men’s Rights Activists. Who has publicly argued with me on this fact, saying that feminists just want to be victims and don’t know what it means to be really victimized, and called AVfM (a listed Hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center) a supportive place with the right idea. I have seen dedicated volunteers in Ottawa burn out and move away from the group, only to be replaced with vocal anti-feminists who actively make spaces unsafe. CFI Canada has made their choice. They chose to accuse us of harassment when we responded to the abuse that we have faced. They chose to see the anger we have as a sign that we are in the wrong and not as a response to years of mistreatment at the hands of the National organization (including taking my design and social media work completely for granted). I’m done. I don’t owe them anything anymore. I will not support their causes or donate any more of my time to helping them. The friends I made through the group, like Seanna and Steve, I still love very much, but I won’t put up with this anymore. I’m done.
Posted on: Mon, 10 Nov 2014 20:30:40 +0000
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