You really want to know whats on my mind? Ok, everyone on here seams to have had a period when they had to rant or complain about something they found annoying. Well I have one and it is male Body Hair. When did it become offensive to have body hair if you are a male. Who is it that sets the rule that all men look better with clean shaven, baby butt feeling body skin ? I remember when that first sprout of hair under your arm in Jr. High was a sign of manhood and you found every excuse to raise your hand so the world could see. And if any thing showed up on your chest, you would go shitless even in winter. Now as a growing young male back in the day, I did have a small problem and that was that the manly growth on my chest got confused and showed up all over my back. Not a problem, I just explained that at birth when God was planting the seeds for chest hair on the boys, I had my back turned admiring the boobs he had just planted on the girls. Luckily in time my chest caught up with my back. I am not saying that I resembled a full grown gorilla in my early years, but back then a little hair here and there was a good thing. Now a days guys spend hours and spending the hard earned money on trying to remove every single hair follicle from their body. Why ? I ask. The only occasion I have had in my life to have my body hair remover is when I had to have surgery for my bypasses. Lets see I have had that done twice. The first time was at a hospital and I was asleep when the procedure was done. I was glad cause I had hair removed from places I did not know I had hair. And I still do not understand why they shave you in the happy place cause my heart is no where near that. Anyway, the second time was much more embarrassing so to speak. First it was done at a Catholic Hospital. And it was done while I was still awake. As I awaited my time in the operating room, A nice looking young lady came to my bedside and explained she was going to take to the prep room where I would receive a sedative to relax me and be prepped for surgery. Fine with me because I knew from previous experience, this is where I get the happy shot and go into a peaceful lala nap. Well boy was I wrong. I got the shot alright but much later than I thought. She rolled me down the hall and into a very cold small room just outside the operating room. As I lay on that cold table she says one of her jobs is to prepare me for surgery and she is a professional and she will be gentl as she removed the top of my gowne. She then with the hand of an angle removed all the hair on my chest and stomachic with a cute little pink Bic type razor. All the time she is telling all about her boyfriend and the plans for a sneak away weekend to go snow skiing . Then it happened. With no warning or hesitation in her voice she removes my lower gowne for all the world to see. Now I normally don’t get embarrassed but you have to remember, one I am sick, and two it is very cold in here. So I am experiencing the cold water effect if you know what I mean. But that’s not half the story. Before I can explain my short comings, She switches to a battery type shaver that closely resembles a vibrator and with task in hand goes to work. Let me tell you I now have another problem. How do I control myself . In my head all types of thoughts are racing thru my brain. She is very attractive. She is holding and pulling my you know what. She is using the equivalent of a vibrator on me. What will she do or think now that I am at full attention. And will my heart be able to take the stress. Am I going to die now? How will they explain it to my family? Just then she interrupts my thoughts with It’s ok sir . This always happens and heck, now I can get all the stubble. Now I am somewhat at ease because the shot is just now kicking in. My last thought was that her boy friend has got to be one lucky guy having a girlfriend who is professionally train in this area. Then again she could be like the girl who works at Baskin Robbins and after serving ice cream all day, she gets off work can’t stand the sight of a scoop. Now that has the be the worst experience I have ever endured. And don’t get me started on the regrowth period. Going through all the itching and trying to hide it in public. Puberty is not what I want to relive. So guys, what do you think ? Is it really worth it to have to go through all that hair removal? Or just a little trim here and there? For me I’m keeping my wooly growth in tack. My granddaughter plays for hours, braiding my back hair. She has even perfected the French Weave. And it is so comforting to awake from my afternoon nap to find the little houses from our monopoly set embedded in my cheat hair with small farm animals . She calls it Old McPaw-Paws farm. And how was your day?
Posted on: Thu, 18 Jul 2013 21:49:47 +0000
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