Youve always been a bit of an oddball. You were picked on in high-school. Teased, a social misfit. All you wanted to do was escape it. You work some odd jobs, save money, live in a shanty apartment. Its not like you were home much anyways. One day you meet your goal. With joy and excitement in the upcoming days, you purchase your plane ticket and begin packing. A few days down the line, and off you go. Alaska is all yours. Relatively far from civilization, you begin your life anew in your little cozy cottage. You take a look at your surroundings, and notice some of the wildlife. And then you see it in the distance, a wolf! You dont want anything to do with it. You try to scare it off, but being the pussy you are, you stay at a distance and it neglects to give attention to your desperate attempts. You realize that shouting isnt doing much. And then a memory strikes you. It was 4th grade, and you were reading a book about wolves because they actually are kinda cool. You see that wolves respect territory through urination. The thought wouldnt have stuck with you had it not been that Jack was reading the book over your shoulder, and would get a kick out of taking a tinkle on the back of your neck. Regardless, you begin to urinate. Over the cabin and the entire perimeter. No spot goes unpissed. Just as the sun begins to set, the urine stops flowing. Your dick is frozen, and with it, a small stream of urine. Youre panicky, but manage to retain yourself before you make things worse. You make an appointment with your local doctor. With a hint of shame and embarrassment, you drop your pants to show him your frosty genitalia. He goes in to take a closer look. Then it happens. You sneeze, and with it, the frozen pissicle stabs him right in the eye. Hes on the floor bleeding and moaning. Great job, asshole.
Posted on: Wed, 28 May 2014 00:34:47 +0000
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