^_^ Here are your Christmas Jokes: An unemployed jester is nobodys fool. I call my pet newt Tiny ‘cause he’s my-newt. What is the leading cause of dry skin? Towels! What does a dog do that people step into? Pants. Great invention idea: A Pop-Up Book of PHOBIAS! How do you stop a Rhino from charging? Unplug his charger! How do you make Enthusiasm soup? You throw everything into it! Why do mermaids wear seashells? Because B shells are too small. What did the bee say to the flower? Hey bud! When do you open? “Gramps, where do you want to be buried?” “I don’t care. Surprise me.” I asked the bank teller to check my balance. He pushed me on my shoulder. Two nuns walked into a building. You would have thought they would have seen it. How do you make an elephant float? Soda water, ice cream, and a squirt of elephant. My car made a loud ‘clunk’ whenever it went around corners, then I found my bowling ball. A man put on a clean pair of socks every day of the week. By Friday he couldnt get his shoes on. Boy: The fireman came down the ladder pregnant. Teacher: Do you know what pregnant means? Boy: It means he was carrying a child. Mommy told me that if I visited Grandma in the hospital, I should take her flowers. So when Grandma wasnt looking, I took ‘em. The pastor recommended that we could get closer as a family by putting the TV in the closet. He was right, but it is crowded. Kindergarten teacher: If you need to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers. Student: How will that help? ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral. ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. Ned: It is hard growing old by myself. Fred: Im so sorry. I didnt know that your wife died. Ned: She didnt die, but she hasnt had a birthday in Years! Boy: If I tried to kiss you, would you call for help? Girl: Why? Would you need help? Fred: What came before BC? Ned: A? HO! HO! HO! Dean ^_^
Posted on: Thu, 25 Dec 2014 01:20:15 +0000
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