"by Kristi Metz: At the end of a particularly difficult day a few weeks ago, I curled up in some fuzzy blankets, got on Skype with my husband, and cried. This is one of many times this has happened over the past nine months, but something about this day was more challenging than the others. A situation had arisen at work that day which broke my spirit and shook my heart. I came home from work to the same scene I have for the better part of a year: an empty house, with two crazy dogs, and my husband asleep and out of reach on the other side of the world. On a deployment. When we got on Skype that night, I lost it. I couldn’t stop crying. I was totally exhausted with work and friendships and military life. My husband tried to comfort me with loving words, careful silence, and Godly encouragement- everything my heart needed. But in my frustration and bitterness, I shut him out. I built up a wall in my heart and I refused to be comforted. I wouldn’t smile or laugh or let myself feel his love. Instead, I hid behind a calloused, bruised heart that I raised like a shield, a weapon of war. Pain always does something to us. It shapes us and molds us by bringing out our weaknesses and pushing us to change, adapt, and survive. It seems to me like it goes one of two ways: Suffering can either produce a hopeful heart or a hardened heart. The first question that always arises in my mind about suffering is Do I really have to go through it? I can’t count the number of times I’ve whispered desperate prayers: God, do we really have to do this? Can You just change it? Is there any other way? I’ve realized that life is not really about avoiding the suffering. Suffering is going to happen. In fact, Jesus tells his disciples to expect trouble and hardship (John 16:33). Our world is broken, and though we long for the perfect peace of Heaven that we were created for, God has stories for us to live out here. And those stories often include suffering. So the question is not Will we suffer?, but rather, Where will the suffering take us? What will it produce? What is going to happen in the heartache? I’m thankful to say that we serve a God who is a Creator, who is in the business of life and growth, of grace and second chances. He can and will use all things for His glory and our good. Easier said than lived, especially with trials that threaten to break our hearts. In the moments where life seems to be falling apart at the seams, God’s word remains unchanging and true. So we have to turn there and cling to His voice. Romans 5 gives us a picture of what God do with our suffering: “Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” Romans 5:3-5 Suffering produces perseverance; perseverance builds godly character; godly character leads us to put all of our hope in Christ, because none of our confidence lies in our own abilities or the circumstances around us that fall apart so quickly. Hope. A hopeful heart is what God wants us to develop- eyes that gaze on Him even in the midst of total chaos and deep hurt. The hope of Christ does not disappoint us. But that hope only develops in our hearts with God’s help, with the Holy Spirit that He has poured into our hearts. Galatians 5 calls us to live by the Spirit, step by step. That means surrendering each breath to Him, even the ones that come between sobs and desperate prayers. The world’s version of suffering is the total opposite, and it produces hardness in our hearts. Suffering without our hearts surrendered to Christ can lead to bitterness, because we don’t feel that we’re getting what we’re entitled to. That bitterness quickly turns into pride; we claim our difficult circumstances as a badge of honor and build ourselves up with it, making it about our own strength and what we have endured. Pride pushes our hearts away from others and isolates us, leaving us with a hardened heart that won’t let anybody in. Suffering will mold our hearts. A hopeful heart will lead us forward in freedom; a hardened heart will leave us exhausted and isolated. Only our all-loving, all-powerful Father can fill our hearts with hope in our times of heartache. We have to lay our sufferings at His feet and know that He bears our burdens for us so we can live in the freedom He offers. “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7"
Posted on: Sat, 08 Jun 2013 19:27:30 +0000
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