by Victoria Tiegert Created on: February 26, 2011 Last Updated: February 28, 2011 There are many different types of abuse, but no matter what form abuse takes, it is always demeaning, degrading, and devastating to the victim. While physical abuse can be much more obvious to see the signs and effects of, the effects of emotional abuse can be even more damaging. Emotional abusers are not only battering the body, they are battering the spirit of their victims. The following are warning signs of emotional abuse. *Belittling comments and/or insults, even on the rare occasion, are a warning sign that a person has the potential to become extremely abusive emotionally. The person who is verbally making his or her partner feel that they are “less than” other people is attempting to make them feel useless and incapable on their own. This is a way that an abuser can keep the victim feeling tied to and dependent on them. *Extreme jealousy, especially that which is unfounded, is a sign that a person is insecure and lacks the ability to trust another person in a relationship. It can also indicate that the person is looking for reasons to display a fit of temper. This is emotional abuse and should not be tolerated. It will eventually make the victim feel that they are guilty of something and instill a sense of shame in them. *Unfounded accusations and suspicions are similar to the jealousy, but can be about anything, rather than just about personal relationships. It does, however, have the same effect as it makes the victim feel that they have done something wrong, even if they haven’t. *Taking over all of the financial decisions and/or access to the money is another way that a person who will be emotionally abusive will gain the upper hand over his or her partner. Without financial resources, the victim will feel stuck in the situation and this is exactly why the abuser will become the financial controller. *Being helpful in a way that is actually demeaning to their partner is something that those who are emotionally abusive will often use in order to belittle without actually sounding cruel or insulting. For instance, a person may gently take the paring knife out of their partner’s hand while they are preparing a meal and state, “Let me do that, you know how careless (or clumsy, or shaky) you are.” While this sounds like someone who is being caring, it is really someone who is telling their partner that they can’t do even the simplest things on their own. *Controlling their partner in various ways is a common behavior of the emotionally abusive person. These means of control may include the way that the abused partner dresses, the things that he or she says, the friends that they have, their career choice, and even the things that they think. *Isolating their partner from people who care about them is a trait that almost all abusers, including emotional abusers, have a handle on. It is essential that they keep their partner feeling dependent on them and that they keep the victim away from people who see more clearly what is going on and could step in to offer help. Emotional abuse may not leave scars that are visible to the human eye, but the wounds that are inflicted on the heart and spirit of the victim are just as painful, if not more so. Once a person is involved in a relationship that is emotionally abusive, it can be extremely difficult to get out of it. Far easier is to know the signs, to watch for them, and to flee at the initial stages of an emotionally abusive relationship or better yet, before it really starts at all.
Posted on: Fri, 05 Jul 2013 08:06:55 +0000
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