i cry every hour because i lost a friend. a friend that subtly reminded me over the last 18 months, of my track record over the last 18 years. a friend who believed i should, no insisted, i document my music to a visual medium. a friend that found liking anything questionable, liked what i had to say, my lyric. i was fortunate because i was at an arms distance over the last decade, so i never had the heavyhearted disputes that happen when youre super-close and know every single thing about the other. but then again, thats probably why i cry for a minute, hourly, every day since christmas. i cannot dry my eyes fast enough... because we never made it there... and i was looking forward to future disputes. tears are no weakness, they are extracted memories being refiled, right?? i mean, in the back of my mind he was about to be my new best buddy, and he was pushing ME to film... he came out to my birthday in the valley and basically reminded me that old and old school were two different things, and that i had responsibilities. a few months later, i left my job and focused on me, again. 14 was rocky, and last month, biz idea was for me to roadtrip to FC with him, all agreed it would be epic. ...but he ended up flying and we missed eachother by days. id been back n forth so often, howd the ef we miss eachother.. so im kicking and kicking myself.. hard. he told me i was missed, quite a few times, and that, that night specifically from his phone said i belonged there (playing at a hiphop show). he couldnt wait to hook up in LA when he returned, and even sent me a photo from the plane... which i will always have as his reminder. he didnt say things, or volunteer his time without reason. he didnt just say, happy birthday, you rap good, can i have cake? he had ideas in depth documenting The Overflo, sort of in historian fashion, as well as traditional music-video ideas (for 2 diff songs) he knew moving on was on my mind, but he wouldnt let me get away that easy, almost as if it was irresponsible if i did. i thank him for that. for ever i will. a friend who was infectiously honest.. a friend who was not always friendly, but always real. a friend that didnt know he was responsible for bring so much life to his surroundings. a friend whose legacy was immediately apparent to all of us, as soon as he found the absence of earth. rest best my friend. one five.
Posted on: Fri, 02 Jan 2015 05:09:00 +0000
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