jerry, my heart breaks for you. I know what it was like when I was at a year without phil like you are judy. you will go thru hell before things let up. march will be 3 years for me, and I promise it does get better.oh honey I would like to tell you one day the pain will be gone, that there will be no more tears or missing them but I cant. what I can tell you that without god being on this path with me I would not have made it. no I am not what god wants me to be but I try and he was always there for me when I called out to him. I thank him daily and I talk to him and yes at times I scream out why us? i do know it is a part of life but we dont have to like it and I dont. I miss my soulmate, my friend and my husband more than anyone will ever know. I also know from my experience that we have to do a certain amount of work ourselves. so I have chosen to do the best I can, go and do and laugh and be happy. the harder I work at this , it becomes a little easier. I am not suicidal but there were times I wanted to be with him no matter what I had to do. I knew that would disappoint god and the loving caring man that was my soulmate. my strength was tested and I nearly failed. you are a good man and friend just as I am and he is not finished with us. I cant explain but we will never get over this but we have to learn to move with it. we will keep them alive in our hearts and the memories will be everlasting. phil told me on his dying bed that I was a good, loving, caring woman, not to waste it. he wanted me to be happy. yet we cant control our hearts. he died but my love for him didnt. pray and laugh and push yourself and god will handle the rest and one day we will be with them again. at this time I am learning to be me all over again, this is another life that we have not had to experience before and yes its hard as hell. most of all be kind to yourself and talk to judy and god and do all you can do to live again. phil will always be in my heart no matter what happens in my life and I will always love him as you will judy. if you ever need to talk or just cry I am here and I understand. love you my friend
Posted on: Fri, 02 Jan 2015 04:59:01 +0000
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