(sitting in front of the camera) Its working. (taps the camera) Martha, before I change, heres a list of instructions for when Im human. One, dont let me hurt anyone. We cant have that, but you know what humans are like. Two, dont worry about the TARDIS. Ill put it on emergency power so they cant detect it. Just let it hide away. Four... no... wait a minute, three... no getting involved in big historical events. Four, you. Dont let me abandon you. And five, very important, five. Dont let me eat pears. I *hate pears*. John Smith is a character I made up, but I wont know that. Ill think I *am* him and he might do something stupid like eat a pear. In three months I dont want to wake up from being human and taste that. And six, now I have to talk for around about a minute without hesitation, deviation, or whatever the other thing is, its like that panel game on Channel 4 like Rory just pointed out. However, Im going to move on and say number seven, and talk about my other favourite band, which is the House Martins. I dont know if anyone remembers the House Martins, but the best gig I ever went to was at the Scottish Exhibition and Conference Centre in about December, it must have been 1990, and the House Martins were playing, and it was quite simply the best gig Ive ever been to. They split up quite soon afterwards, I dont know what that tells you about that particular event. Im sitting in the TARDIS now, and Im gonna wind up soon, but not before I make a few strange noises with my mouth, all goes something along the lines of, bingle bangle, dingle dangle, yickety doo, yickety dah, ping pong, lippy tuppy tooh tah. And twenty-three, if anything goes wrong, if they find us, Martha, then you know what to do.
Posted on: Tue, 12 Nov 2013 13:12:40 +0000
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