the state of the blonde bombshell i usually do these on u tube however tonight i dont feel like the whole nine yards. Instead, I will put it plain and simple I am under a lot of stress some I place blame upon myself for no one told me to go out and buy costumes no one told me to have 9 credit cards. then my grandparents and their health issues grandpa will be having back surgery coming up grandma will be having a procedure with her health in the office. my car well a place was found on it today where porters must have missed it and tommorow i look to tango with state farm again. i do tend to jump to conclusions and think the worst possible things by simply hearing bits and pieces of conversations and when i do i dont ask questions i just shut down and close up like a clam around those people. my priority right now besides my grandparents is my financial state of mind. christmas will not be the normal christmas this year and that to me is depressing. i dont like being taken advantage of or used. i feel like right now i have been and some people think of my finances to my weight or knitpick at me or poke fun at me. that is not a friend. some make promises but never follow through that is not a friend. this close to Christmas and i feel like im becoming a ice princess. i dislike that feeling however its my life. i feel like my trust issues have hit a peak lately that i cant trust people. i hate that feeling i hate the feeling like im not good enough or smart enough or pretty enough as well. just being honest. i speak my mind a lot and some think i should sensor that more sorry i havent not now nor will i ever do that. maybe someday things will work better i pray they do but for right now my main focus: finances, grandparents, sammy and peanut, my car, and family.
Posted on: Wed, 03 Dec 2014 05:42:44 +0000
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