today my friend texted me and asked how did God show His love for you this week? i havent yet responded, so i apologize, but hopefully youll see this: rewind a week ago: i went to shell and bought 5 rockstars, one for each day of the week. i announced to some close friends and coworkers that it would be an insane week at work and i was sad because i know what my life looks like when i work these hours- i dont eat well, i dont sleep well, i dont really feel or react to anything. its survival mode and i just get things done. i no longer like to live that way because as i get older, i realize all im losing is time and i dont ever want to say i lost time or made poor choices because of anything, let alone a job. fast forward to me receiving the text. while i didnt write back (i was out with friends), i still thought about my answer. what would i say? well, i was right, i didnt feel anything this week. barely prayed, didnt read my Bible, didnt go to the gym, didnt do anything. i worked and gave up. every day. what reason did i give God to show me He loved me this week? several hours later, some hard news later, a couple beers later, a couple really long conversations later...i realized i was in good company. that whether these are ride til i die friends or just i have your back in this moment coworkers, i was impacted by their company and support. i wasnt alone. i got some difficult news and somehow had the peace to handle gracefully when i dont want to handle it gracefully, not at all. i stayed out later than normal, drank more than normal (as normal is not drinking at all), shared and vented and listened and laughed. told people i love them (i do). saw my bfil and my bfr...will easily feel crappy and tired tomorrow but i wouldnt take it back. it was no coincidence i put freddy on this morning (a necklace), for the first time in almost a year. no coincidence we had team building tonight and no coincidence i got hard news when i had my bfr at my side. no coincidence i left work friday and came home saturday, stood outside in the snow and just marveled at its beauty in this crazy silence that made me believe i was not only in narnia but that time had stopped. so somewhere in there, in all of my lame and giving up this week, is all the ways God loved me this week.
Posted on: Sat, 08 Mar 2014 08:18:55 +0000
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