ughhhhhhhhhh okay here goes. on a lot of threads ive seen several white folks (men and women both this time, so dont get your kickin foot all aimin at my ass) say things to the effect of all this white privilege hooey is just designed to make white people feel guilty, and i refuse to be guilted by blah blah blah blah blah.... OK. so... first of all, do you really think folks sit around spending their days thinking about how to make whitey feel feelings? how self important is that? aint nobody thinkin about you. let go of that one, thats just silly. next, no one makes anyone else feel anything. people say things, you feel your feelings. you could feel any old feeling you want. one person could feel guilt, while another feels pride, and another feels anger, and another feels compassion. you cant design other peoples feelings. you can only design your own. so no one is MAKING you feel anything. you are feeling your own feelings, independently. now, hopefully, you are an evolved enough creature to realize that you are NOT your feelings. you are the observer of your feelings. you feel me? you are not the storm, youre the lighthouse. your feelings are like an itch, alerting your system to the fact that some deeper scratching is needed in a certain area. if something always makes you annoyed, hopefully you have the self awareness to examine yourself, and ask why does that annoy me so much? and what can i do about that? if something always makes you frustrated, hopefully you have the self awareness to examine yourself, and ask why does that frustrate me so much? and what can i do about that? if something makes you feel guilty, hopefully....fill in the rest. guilt is inert. it is not actually useful. no one wants you to feel something inert and not useful. no one is asking you to bow and scrape around apologizing for everything. if you happen to feel guilt, thats fine, but hopefully you have the awareness to use that as a springboard toward some deeper thought, some questioning, some movement toward forward action. transformation of negative to positive. thats your job. to move through your feelings, to transform your negative feelings into positive action. so no, i dont think anyone is sitting around plotting to make you feel guilty. people may be asking you to feel empathy. for increased awareness. for acknowledgement. for a new kind of dialogue. for a little more effort. but your guilt and $2 wont even get you a cup of coffee. another thing ive seen is people saying that because theyre poor and white, they dont feel like theyve had privilege. i can relate more to this one. so, i guess all i can say on this is: not being sure youve felt privilege is not the same as feeling sure, every day, that youre having an active experience of discrimination. right? when i get ready to go outside every day, i do so preparing to accept some degree of street harassment from men. my man does not, because he has male privilege. however, when he gets ready to leave the house, he does so preparing to accept some degree of racism or harassment for his skin color, and i dont, because im white. im not worried ill be followed through a store by security. im not worried ill be pulled over in my car. im not worried someone will yell cracker at me in a way that cuts me to my soul and brings hot immediate tears to the corners of my eyes. im not worried ill be shot by police. instead i just fear these things for him, from the comfort of my skin. (no one yells cracker at him. but hopefully you get what im sayin.) whether or not it feels good to admit that skin color denotes privilege in our society doesnt change the fact that it does. racism is alive and well in this country, and white people have the upper hand in many ways - yes, even poor white people. the explaining privilege to a broke white person article breaks down this concept of intersectionality very well. next weird thing ive seen is this is all bullshit because black people can be racist toward white people too. Ok...AND!?! lets use this logic for everything. this is how we shall raise our children. timmy, clean your room. mom, i WILL NOT, because ben doesnt clean his room. ...youre right. ben DOESNT clean his room. NO ONE CLEAN ANYTHING UNTIL BEN IS MADE TO CLEAN HIS ROOM!!!! what!?! this is straight up ridiculous childishness. clean your own room and let other people clean theirs. lead by example. worry about your damn self. yes, other people can be prejudice. does that absolve you, in your mind, of your personal responsibility of becoming a better person in society? if so...please dont raise anyone. thats ridiculous. ive experienced prejudice. everyone can experience racism and prejudice, and it can flow in every direction. BUT.... the entire structure of this country wasnt built by the subjugation of white people by black people. or by white people being completely wiped out in manifest destiny. or by white people being forced into internment camps. or by white people being forced to build the railroads, etc etc... so there has to be an understanding of the fact that history (very recent history, the last woman in the US born a slave only died 3 years ago) colors every interaction on this subject. whether or not you personally are a bigot doesnt change the fact that you benefit from the color of your skin in ways that may be invisible to you but are visible to others. heres an analogy i used on another thread on the subject: because sometimes ableism is easier to see: say you go to a building every day that has stairs leading to the entrance. and then you have a co-worker or family member in a wheel chair who accompanies you and says hey, i cant go into this building with you, because it doesnt have a ramp. you look around and realize, in fact, this building doesnt have a ramp, but you never noticed that before, because you never needed it. now, no one is saying you should feel guilty for the use of your legs. no one is saying you should give up the use of your legs in solidarity with your companion. but you may, with this new knowledge, a) have a better understanding of what this person goes to on a daily basis, and b) either reconsider visiting this building, or, ask if your companion would like you to accompany them in petitioning this building for the addition of a ramp. right? now that you notice, it doesnt mean you were a terrible person for not noticing before, its just that you notice now, so youre more sensitive to it. and you might even be motivated to get involved in doing something about it. (and oh my god im not saying that being black is like being disabled before people jump on me. its an analogy. if you dont find it helpful, thats ok.) whew. okay, im done. and now, i will prepare for the barrage of people telling me im a racist or an idiot or both. proceed.
Posted on: Wed, 17 Dec 2014 20:33:30 +0000
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