ugust 7, 2013 · by Franklin Schneider Bercelona-flea-market-by-Oh-Barcelonacom As someone who goes to flea markets and yard sales religiously, roots through every “free” pile on the curb, and refuses to wear any shirt less than twenty years old, I think I have a good idea of what goes into a decent flea market. Which is why I was immediately skeptical when I heard about the founders of Brooklyn Flea starting up a DC-based flea market. I’ve been to Brooklyn Flea many, many times, and my experience ranged from “underwhelming” to “I’m pretty sure reality is just an elaborate computer simulation, and that because of a glitch, the last five minutes have been looping over and over for the last hour” to “if Pottery Barn and Urban Outfitters had a child, it would be just like this” to “is that Anne Hathaway? That’s definitely Anne Hathaway.” (True story. She looked like the attractive older sister of the donkey from “Shrek.”) The point is, it wasn’t terrible, it just wasn’t very good either. My impression was that it was overly curated, or curated by someone who, if you took them to a real flea market, would be like, “yeah this is okay, except for all the poor people.” Articles like this don’t make me very optimistic that the District Flea will be any different; on the other hand, the article does say that only about half the vendor spots have been filled, so there’s still time to whip this baby into shape. So without further ado, my unsolicited advice! MORE DIVERSITY I don’t mean, like, ethnic diversity, which is usually well represented at flea markets. I mean diversity of goods for sale. At Brooklyn Flea, there would be, like, forty vintage-ish glasses frames booths, forty booths selling elaborately screen-printed tshirts, ten selling homemade dreamcatcher jewelry, and one guy selling unopened vintage boxes of “Diff’rent Strokes” trading cards. I’m exaggerating, but seriously; why not expand your concept a little? DON’T BE AFRAID OF DIRT District Flea is essentially going to be replacing the old flea market at 9th and Florida. This was my favorite flea market for years, because you could go and look at completely random, filthy goods spread out on a slit-open garbage bag. There was a guy who sold full suitcases that he’d either stolen off baggage carousels or had gone unclaimed for 90 days and then discarded (probably the first one though); for twenty bucks you got a grab bag of a random person’s life. I still use a hair dryer I got out of some woman’s suitcase. A huge part of that flea market’s charm was its randomness, its filth, and the challenge of rooting through all the garbage to find, say, a pair of vintage Italian patchwork mosaic alligator-and-patent-leather loafers that, once polished, caused at least one random woman per month to ask if she could touch them and then, while gently stroking your loafer-clad foot, emit a low guttural moan of generalized ecstasy. Whereas at Brooklyn Flea you could buy a pair of vintage shell-toe Adidas that your friend from college would look at and be like, “cool shoes, brah, pass me another Natty Light.” Brooklyn Flea was sanitized – it was like they were trying really hard to make you forget you were buying (gasp!) used goods – and, ultimately, rather boring. LESS FOOD For God’s sake, if I want brunch, I’ll go to one of the approximately one billion brunch places within a half mile radius of 945 Florida. There were times at Brooklyn Flea when I swear there were more food vendors than other vendors. Look, I like food as much as the next guy (unless the next guy is Val Kilmer), but shoehorning dozens of food vendors into a flea market reeks of “let’s try to be everything to everyone!” I get it, there are going to be people at the flea market, and people like food, so lets sell them some food! Guess what: THERE ARE PEOPLE EVERYWHERE. Why not just follow people down the street and waft lobster roll aromas into their nostrils to tempt them into a purchase? This madness must stop. Besides, the type of people who will walk in circles for two hours looking for just the right military surplus wool henley or ornamental Turkish birdcage aren’t exactly the type of people who are going to go for a pulled pork sandwich afterwards, organic artisan-butchered meat or not. MAKE IT COOL Bottom line, make it cool. A flea market is supposed to be cool; it’s named after a bloodsucking vermin, after all. What could be cooler? The problem is, Brooklyn Flea was Anne Hathaway, but it should’ve been Chloe Sevigny. I mean, sure, DC isn’t ready for Chloe Sevigny, but come on – can we at least get Zooey Deschanel? (This Zooey, please, not this Zooey.)
Posted on: Fri, 09 Aug 2013 15:11:14 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015