wants everyone to put a 4000 degree boot cast on their foot. Now lay on any random sofa and watch Netflix for about 9 hours while yarking loudly that your foot is hot and sore. Now whine to the kids and your spouse about the mess the house is getting into and request they come inside and clean it. Now watch them all put their headphones on and avoid eye contact while they pretend they didnt hear anything. (Enjoy the view of Hubby getting caught up in the fence he just tried to leap over...you earned that). Now hobble out to your fridge and see what fresh fruits and veggies are left after that swarm of locusts you gave birth to had their fill. Now punch yourself in that part of your brain that tells you to stick to healthy foods and grab that tub of Cool Whip and as many pudding cups as you can safely carry. And never mind a bowl....youll do just fine with only a spoon. Now do your best Bill Cosby Jello Pudding Comercial impersonation while you skarf down a gallon of sugar wrapped in butterscotch flavored chemicals. Now get back on any random sofa and start whining about how bored you are. And watch your children bolt for the woodlands with excuses like they have to do a reenactment of Bonanza for a school project. And enjoy the view of Hubby scowling in the doorway because he couldnt think of an excuse to bolt fast enough. Yeah. Normal folk call this Excessive Malingering. Here in Hawleywood we call it Friday.
Posted on: Sat, 05 Jul 2014 01:57:06 +0000
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