well Ive apparently done something wrong with being so nice and caring for everyone, so I guess Im sorry for whatever I did to much of whether it was give you my shoulder to cry on to much or listen to much, yall dont apparently get why I do it, well its rant time because Im sick of holding this crap in because now theres no right time to do so, every word anyone says to me in confidence and secrecy... that means you tell me something you dont want anyone else to hear ever because you trust me enough, ok now that you understand that understand that I carry that with me to my grave no one will ever know anything out of me that you didnt want them to know you tell them when youre ready if you ever are otherwise its between us like you wanted it, now understand that my closet is full of demons as well and I probably understand what you are going through to a point, with that said I wont try and turn the conversation around so we end up talking about my crap, I am this person today because I understand what a certain book says, I dont try to be perfect because theres no point because its impossible I can only better myself to my ability I say when Im where I want to stop if ever, I dont expect anyone to be perfect because we arent, everyones going to have problems... its inevitable whether its a paper cut or earth shattering news, people understand this... its normal to feel like theres no possible right way, its what makes us human because we could take any direction we want, we arent machines who only do one thing until we are obsolete, if I take time to help you or ask how you are I care about you... its as simple and blunt as that... take it as you will Im not trying anything and Im not going to write it down to use against you later only a politician would do that... Ill be honest lots of people period would do that but Im a different person, Im what you call a dying breed that means rare... and the other side to all of this because Ive heard it believe me when I ask you to talk about whats bothering you, you arent bothering me or wasting my time, Im asking you to get things off your chest to help you and thats what I do thats my purpose as I see it, so in closing if I try and help you in any way dont treat me as if I just killed something in front of you because being looked at like that and being ignored like that puts me in a bad spot like the I dont really care about anything anymore spot because I may not be going through what you are I may never go through what you are going through but I have problems of my own and Im far from ok with those problems but I try hard to not let them tear me apart anymore because Id rather battle my problems alone after asking for help and getting things turned around on me or not getting help at all than have to battle my problems and the people I asked for help from... I dont want my friends and family to do that because it sucks... it really does so I put myself in a position to help you all so you dont have to do what Ive done for years and loose sleep with your thoughts and have to hold your tongue everywhere you go so the wrong things dont spew out, love you all and I hope this allows you to understand why I try talking to a lot of you so much... Im doing for you all what very few can sense in me and for those very few who have asked me thank you for everything you heard from me thank you for listening and thank you for being who you are... dont let the people who are trying to help you be the ones forced out of your life because once theyre gone youre going to see how dark the world truly gets in your bad times
Posted on: Sun, 06 Jul 2014 05:47:27 +0000
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