what ever happened to us.. Time I was just told by someone very important to me, that they need ‘time’, this word has become so unfamiliar, because honestly who can take that word and give the definition? You don’t notice time, we cannot simply measure it, because in the blink of an eye you could be ten years down your life, twenty, thirty, even all of your life, in the blink of an eye. You cannot remember half the things that have happened to you you try to call them back because you want to bring them back and remember them for what they were, remember them because of the people who were inside of those moments.. Maybe I’m going crazy, but when this person said she needed ‘time’ to think, it drove a stake through my heart, because as I sit here bleeding out my words, she is out doing who knows what, just.. thinking. I know she isn’t just thinking, and I know what is coming, that is why i type this. As scary as life gets sometimes you just have to tough it out, and move forward. But as time itself bends around you, and forms something that you don’t see until your life is blinking before yourself, the people you think you’re so close to are drifting and becoming nothing but mirror images of TIME, once again this word.. I don’t even know if I can see myself anymore, I wake up mid day, praying that I will do something today, something worth bragging about, worth living for. I wake up to this girl, she’s so perfect, so amazing, and yet I take her for granted, I wake up, onery, as usual. But she still loves me, she sends me a text saying : “Goodmorning, babe, I love you so much.” I reply with : “Morning.” Is this right? No, I would never claim this is right, and I need her to realize the love she is to me, and I’ve had all of this ‘time’ with her, expressing everything, so much that she knows every inch of me better than I do, so much that she knows my personality and loves it more than my own parents. I see her, I get so weak, I get numb, not knowing what to do, I play it cool, she grabs my hand, I don’t grab it back as tight as I should. Everything is perfect in that moment, though, and now that I think of it, I should have held on and never let go, I have these images in my head, imagining her hand entwined with mine, I never looked at it the way I do right now, but as she is out thinking about what she is going to do with me, she has put such a huge dent in my life, in my heart, I can’t let her go. Honestly, if it came down to it, I would trade my life, for hers to go onward, I would give my FAMILY, for this girl. They all see her as trouble, as this ‘girl’ but no.. I can’t see that, I used to, but now.. now she is this angel, this angel that I have single handedly ripped the wings right off of. I love you, Jada.
Posted on: Sat, 08 Jun 2013 22:26:24 +0000
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